Eric Yiadom is a hotheaded volcanic tempered basketball player whose attitude often leads others to malign him. He is tall, slim with dark olive skin and has short red hair as hot as his temper. On the court he lacks sportsmanship. Always causing a tantrum and putting others down after a game has been lost; his eyes will cringe, and become infuriate, yet he will start making excuses to why the games was unfair, seeing the heat radiating through his body you’ll see the death in his eyes and steam steaming out of his ears; As if He was out to kill. Not only is his attitude a problem In fact when it comes to his personality he is self-centered. He thinks highly of himself, and will turn any subject around so it's about him, and then proceeds to ramble on about himself.
infuriate = infuriated....excuses as to why
game was OR games were
Stop one sentence with unfair. Begin the next with Seeing
As if he WERE out to kill = this is not a completet sentence. Instead of the semiclon ; use a comma = , = ears, as if
Drop in fact = problem, when it comes....personality, (add comma
note will turn, so change proceeds to proceed (what is understood is will proceed)
Sra
P.S. If you have time, make all the corrections and post for final proofreading.