Writing

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I'm not sure how to edit this business letter. Please help! I'm not sure what to do when there is an address for another business? Please help edit paper! Thank you!

Dear Ms. Drager:

In connection with an examination of our financial statements by Templeton and Associates, Certified Public Accountants, 35 North Temple Ave., Madison, WI 53298, we will appreciate it if you will indicate the correctness of the following information.

Our records indicate that at the close of business on November 5, 2011, the amount payable on your account was $100,000. Please sign the confirmation form in the space provided below if this amount agrees with your records. If it does not agree, do not sign below but explain and sign on the reverse side. Please return this form directly to our accountants in the enclosed envelope.

Sincerely,

Grant Werner, Controller

  • Writing -

    This is what I'd do with that address:

    ... by Templeton and Associates (Certified Public Accountants, 35 North Temple Ave., Madison, WI 53298), we will ...

    OR

    ... by Templeton and Associates, certified public accountants in Madison, Wisconsin, we will ...

  • Writing -

    Thank you for the tip Writeacher!

    I was wondering if I should take the whole business address and put it in as a new paragraph like this:

    In connection with an examination of our financial statements by:

    Templeton and Associates, Certified Public Accountants
    35 North Temple Ave., Madison, WI 53298

    We will....

    Does that make any sense or should I keep it in the sentence?

  • Writing -

    If you NEED to keep the address in there, you can do that in one of the two ways above -- my version and your version. Either one will work.

    If you DON'T NEED to keep the address in there, the whole letter will read more smoothly. That address is going to be on the enclosed envelope, right? If so, it doesn't NEED to be in the text of the letter, does it?

  • Writing -

    Yes, I do need to keep the address in the text. I just wanted to make sure what I had in mind was also correct too but I prefer your version!

    Thank you!

  • Writing -

    You're very welcome.

  • Writing -

    You are a GREAT help! You made my day and helped me learn something new! I appreciate it :)

  • Writing -

    Excellent! Go get high grades!!

    =)

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