Here are the first sentences I turned into indirect speech. Can you please have a look at them?
1)A knight called Sir Pellinore warned him not to go past that fountain because he should (?) have fought with him first.Merlin told (instructed, ordered) Pellinore to stop fighting because that knight was King Arthur.
2)Arthur told Merlin that he had broken his sword during the fight with Sir Pellinore. He needed to (had to ??) have another sword because he was the king.Merlin invited Arthur to ask kindly the Lady of the Lake for the sword.
3)Arthur obeyed Merlin and asked her kindly for the sword.She agreed to Arthur’s request and told him to take her boat and get it.
4) Arthur got it and noticed that the word Excalibur was written on it. Merlin revealed him the Excalibur was the greatest sword in the world but its scabbard was more precious.
5) In fact, it had a great magic power. He explained that when someone wore it, he/they never bled (they would never bleed). He also advised him to have the scabbard always with him when he fought.
1. Who is "him"?
"should" is fine
space after period
"ordered" is good
2. better: He needed another sword...
space after period
better: to kindly ask
3. space after period
4. Merlin revealed to him that Excaliber was...
comma needed
"someone ... he..."
delete the words in parentheses
Here are the revised sentences in indirect speech:
1) Sir Pellinore was warned by a knight to not go past that fountain because he should have fought with him first. Merlin instructed Pellinore to stop fighting as that knight was King Arthur.
2) Merlin was told by Arthur that he had broken his sword during the fight with Sir Pellinore. Arthur needed to have another sword because he was the king. Merlin suggested to Arthur to ask the Lady of the Lake kindly for the sword.
3) Arthur followed Merlin's advice and asked the Lady of the Lake politely for the sword. She agreed to Arthur's request and told him to take her boat and retrieve it.
4) Arthur obtained the sword and noticed that it had the word Excalibur written on it. Merlin revealed to him that Excalibur was the greatest sword in the world, but its scabbard held even greater importance.
5) In fact, the scabbard possessed a great magical power. Merlin explained that when someone wore it, they would never bleed. He also advised Arthur to always keep the scabbard with him when he fought.