can you please correct this. i compared michael jackson's life to gatsbys from the novel the great gatsby. when i read this out loud it sounded i think it didn't have that contining fluency. please help me make it more fluent!
Michael Jackson and Gatsby are both comparable to each other, since both of them got influenced by the society and time. On 19 November 2002, Michael Jackson’s reputation worldwide was going to change permanently. Firstly, he holds his baby outside of the balcony in Berlin, Germany. Subsequently, he was sentenced a year in jail for child molestation, since he was seen playing with a child. At the end he was pleaded not guilty for the charges against him. His life was distorted due to pressures from the show business and problems from his own family. Eventually, Michael lost control over his actions and went through a nervous breakdown. It’s evident that Michael’s life is directly related to the main theme in The Great Gatsby which is the significance of the past to dreams of the future. Readers may be wondering how this theme applies to Michael Jackson as it did to Gatsby. As Gatsby love and desire is represented by the green light, Michael Jackson desire in regaining his childhood is represented by him having friendship with a child.
Michael Jackson and Gatsby are both comparable to each other since both of them were influenced by society of their times. On November 19, 2002, Michael Jackson’s reputation worldwide was going to change permanently. First, he held his baby over the balcony of his hotel room in Berlin, Germany. Later, he was sentenced to a year in jail for child molestation, since he was seen playing with a child. He pleaded not guilty of these charges. His life was distorted because of the pressures of show business and problems in his own family. Eventually, Michael lost control over his actions and had a nervous breakdown. It’s evident that Michael’s life is directly related to the main theme in The Great Gatsby: the significance of the past to dreams of the future. As Gatsby's love and desire is represented by the green light, Michael Jackson's desire in returning to his childhood is represented by his having friendship with a child.
Compare very carefully to catch the large and small corrections above. Again, work on how to correctly indicate possessives: Gatsby's, Michael's...
Both Michael Jackson and Gatsby share similarities in their lives as they were both influenced by society and the era they lived in. However, when reading the comparison out loud, it may lack fluency. Let's make it more fluent:
Michael Jackson and Gatsby are comparable to each other due to the influence of society and their respective time periods. On November 19, 2002, Michael Jackson's worldwide reputation was about to undergo a permanent change. Firstly, he famously held his baby outside the balcony in Berlin, Germany. Subsequently, he was sentenced to a year in jail for child molestation, as he was seen playing with a child. Ultimately, he pleaded not guilty to these charges. Michael's life became increasingly distorted due to pressures from the show business industry and problems within his own family. Eventually, he lost control over his actions and went through a nerve-wracking breakdown. It is clear that Michael's life is directly related to the main theme in The Great Gatsby, which is the significance of the past in shaping dreams of the future. Readers may wonder how this theme applies to Michael Jackson, just as it did to Gatsby. Just as Gatsby's love and desire are represented by the green light, Michael Jackson's desire to regain his lost childhood is represented by his friendships with children.