english ( intro in essay)

posted by yesdas

here is a finshed introduction of my essay on the book the great gatsby. im suppose to write how todays' bussiness men, celebrities, and athletes mirror the cntext of this novel. can u pleas tellme wat toimproveon. and correct any puncation errors.

In the Roaring 20’s America was addressing its newly developed machinery productions. As a result of this improvement the standards in American materialism also elevated. Majority envied nice cars and enormous houses. The commencing of an era of decayed social and moral values was established. The corruption of the American dream progressed, as the wild desire for money and pleasure exceeded more aristocratic goals. As a matter of chance, any person can have a fortune. But fortune does not determine social standing, and many newly rich find themselves outsiders excluded from entering the social world of the traditional socially elite, the power and tradition set. Hence, money in and of itself, is not the entry key. Due to the influence of media and pop culture, society dramatically changed. Jazz music flourished and the “flappers” redefined womanhood. Things that were once forbidden now became acceptable. Uncensored movies and pornography was at its peak, influencing the society into sexual relationships. Along with this freedom grew devastating pleasures of alcohol, drugs, and sex. Even after 90 years, when America’s economy is fragile, the desire for these types of materialism in society is still noticeable. We have witnessed several occasions where celebrities, athletes, and business men, seem to be directly mirror many themes, motifs, characteristics, and situations related to The Great Gatsby.

thanks for taking your time to read this, and giving me some feedback!

  1. SraJMcGin

    "Majority envied nice cars" = some article, either the or a.

    This isn't the only place I'd add a comma. Read it aloud and when you need to stop for a breath, it's probably where a comma would be in place. "outsiders excluded " = comma after outsidersmovies and pornography was " =

    Compound subject here..."movies and pornography was" = WERE
    + at their peak

    "to be directly mirror " = may I suggest either "seem to directly mirror" OR "to be directly mirroring"


Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English

    I need help in writing a general statement and transition statement to my essay. I have all the body paragraphs.. but not an intro and a conclusion. Please help. Thanks. My essay topic is a shakespearean tragedy is a story of human …
  2. Essay helpplease

    Hi, I'm suppose to be doing an essay on To Kill A mockingBird. On my intro paragraph, my last sentence has to be 'explicitly stated plan' , is this right?

    I've been given this question for the novel THE GREAT GATSBY and have been stuck on how to answer it for hours. "Boy meets girl...boy loses girl" this novel is merely another love story. to what extentdo you share this opinion of the …
  4. english

    So first off i want to say writing essays are not in my strengths. so i was wondering if someone could read my intro paragraph and critic it. and im suppose to have a thesis statement and iim not sure if i do...?
  5. english

    i tried my best to coorrect this, but it still sounds wierd. the following paragraph is about the great gatsby, and how many celebrities relate to Gatsby.c can you please suggest ideas and help me make it sound more fluent. thanks!!! …
  6. English

    Hi, i have to write an literary essay for The Great Gatsby and the topic is "IN THE GREAT GATSBY, THE AMERICAN DREAM IS PRESENTED AS A TRAP." Can you give me some advice on how to write it and how to start it with a really nice hook?
  7. English 12

    I have to write an essay on a book called "The Stone Angel" by Margaret Lawrence, for anyone that knows the novel there is a clear message about communication, or lack there of, and things on relationships, having issues starting the …
  8. english

    what grabber can i make for the essay I'm making for the book the great gatsby?
  9. Grade 10 English

    i need 3 points of tragedy between the book the Stone carvers and the great gatsby.... i need to write a compasrion essay of tragedy between the two books. please and thank you
  10. English Essay- The Great Gatsby

    I am writing a literary essay about The Great Gatsby. My claim is "money cannot buy you happiness" I am working on the Literary device paragraph right now but I can't seem to find a motif/symbol in the story that can prove my claim. …

More Similar Questions