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Here is my first paragraph of my essay:

Imagine being 6’3” in the eighth grade and everyone in the school making comments about your size. There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to being tall. My best friend’s mother found a quote written by Bill Walton that read: Hey, this is me, I’m this way and I’m going to make the best of my life and I’m not going to let other peoples hang-ups about me restrict my life.” It was at this time that I began to rethink why I had such a lack of confidence about my size. The social awkwardness that I was so self conscious of in elementary school made me very insecure with being taller than my peers, but eventually in high school the basketball scholarships offers that led to the free education were advantages of learning to cope with my height.

  • english -

    Hey, this is me; avoid a run-on sentence
    other people's hang-ups

    Is it your "size" or your "height?"


  • english -

    It is my height. Other than your corrections, how does it sound?

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