posted by lizzie

I need help with starting my essay. These are the organization of my essay. I am not sure what to put for paragraph #2.

*Broad subject-My name

*Limited Topic for thesis statement-Learning to cope with my height

*Main Idea about this topic- Advantages of being tall

Paragraph #2-
Paragraph #3- Social Akwardness of being tall

Paragraph #4- Using my height for a basketball scholarship

  1. Writeacher

    What does your name have to do with your height??

  2. lizzie

    What would my broad topic be then? It is about me and I am narrowing it down to the issue I had when I was younger with being so tall. I am not sure what else to write?

  3. Writeacher

    If your broad topic is "my name," then I'd expect to read a paper about the meaning and origin of your name.

    What do YOU THINK the broad topic is?

    Also -- if your main idea involves "advantages," then why are you writing about "social awkwardness" in a supporting paragraph. You can't support a positive with a negative.

  4. lizzie

    Would it be just my height as the broad topic?

    Can I write my main idea as advantages and disadvantages of being tall?

  5. Writeacher

    Yes -- to both questions!

  6. lizzie

    I am really struggling with the 3 step format for my Thesis Statement

    Paragraph #2-

    Paragraph #3-Social akwardness of being tall

    Paragraph #4-Basketball scholarship=free education

    Are 3 and 4 okay or would I need to change 4. I am not sure how to write an advantage for paragraph #2.

  7. Writeacher

    Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

    Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

    This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.

    spelling ~~> awkwardness

    #3 is a disadvantage.

    #4 is an advantage.

  8. lizzie

    Paragraph #2-Social awkwardness
    Paragraph #3-Basketball Scholarship offers
    Paragraph #4-Free Education

    I am giving my thesis statement a try:

    Social awkwardness, basketball scholarship offers, and free education are the disadvantages and advantages of learning to cope with my height.

    My essay is to be an autobiography.

  9. Writeacher

    That's a good start, but it's not a thesis statement yet. How do you FEEL about your height? What is your OPINION about it? Don't omit anything from your thesis draft, just add to it, even if you think it read awkwardly. We can smooth it out later, but first get that opinion in there.

  10. lizzie

    Are my 3 step format for each of the paragraphs okay?

  11. Writeacher

    Yes, they look good.

  12. lizzie

    When I was younger I was so insecure with being so tall. I hated when people would say "Wow, your tall!" It wasn't until I reached high school that I became comfortable in my own skin.

  13. Writeacher

    Those are details that belong in the supporting paragraphs.

    Try something like this:

    Social awkwardness in junior high made me hate being taller than other students, but in high school, the basketball scholarship offers that led to a free education were the advantages of learning to cope with my height.

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