posted by Henry1 .
I forgot to include the following sentences. Thank you.
1) The story is told by a third-person narrator. Eveline’s point of view is adopted throughout the story. The narrator opens in medias res and employs free indirect thoughts.
2) Eveline appears tired linked to stillness and paralyses, since she does not move and her only life is her mind’s.
3) Eveline’s present is linked to stillness and dust. Her past is connected with the death of her mother. He future has connections with a new life, perhaps love, action, the sea and escape.
4) Eveline is compared to a helpless animal since she is passive paralysed, unable to make up any decision.
The sound of the street organ can be considered as the epiphany of this story; Eveline remembers her promise to her mother and understands the emptiness and the meaningless of her dreams and of her love.
5) At first there is her plan of escape which coexists with her wish of getting on living in her home; at the end there is the failure of her project of escaping and paralysis wins inside her soul, probably too young to take any decision.
2. in her mind (not mind's)
3. Her future
4. Use "passive" or "paralyzed" but not both. Delete "up."
5. I don't understand this: "her wish of getting on living in her home"
Delete "project of escaping" and insert "escape plans"
This is just hanging out there, not clearly connected to anything/anyone: "probably too young to take any decision" -- also, use "make" not "take"