posted by sophie .
Hello! I have to write a dialogue with 3 characters, the subject is "hello doctor!"
I probably make a doctor with a patient and the patient's mother, my idea consists of simulating (a lot of )illnesses in order to not to go to school
(it's about the little girl)
I don't arrive to begin the dialogue could you help me please (few lines) ?
Have you ideas to make it funny?
[English is my second language]
You may get some ideas in here.
As far as making a dialog funny, you have to focus on a few things:
--Very clear characters. You have to make sure you know what the characters are like.
--Establish a conflict that usually comes from how the people might differently handle the situation.
--Be sure to make the problem build.
--Fix the problem in the end.
An idea might be:
--Characters: a punk rock loving teenager that wants his mom to just leave him alone.
A VERY over protective mother.
A doctor, acting as the person that will have to sort this all out.
The problem: the doctor needs to get the mother to sign a form for surgery. The teenager doesn't want the mom to know about it.
Imagine 3 doors in the office where the boy learns about this. One door leads to the hall. Nother leads to the bathroom. A third leads to an outside area. Have the boy in the room moving the doctor in and out (justify why). Have the boy trying to hide the mom from the doctor. Eventually, they will have to meet. This is where the problem is finally faced, the true comedy happens, and the resolution can come.
Repost if you have other ideas. This is just one. There are many others. Feel free to use the above ideas (they're nothing too original anyway). Just keep the dialog EXACTLY to the characters'. Uf someone will worry, it should be mom. If someone is angry, it should be the son.
Hello, sorry I just saw the last message then I would like help in order to correct the dialogue: spelling, vocabulary, grammar... Be intransigent even if it's my second language
tell me if something can seem illogical
Look at the dialogue:
D: doctor M: patient's mother P: patient
M: Good morning doctor!
D: Hello, what the reason of your visit?
M: It's about my adorable little girl ...she 's ....
P: I am very very sick. Look at my cheeks and my nose : they blushed, I feel feverish too and...I could suffer from the measles.
M: At first, I thought it was a stroke.
D: Don't sugarcoat things. Just give me the facts.
M: Yesterday, after the dinner,she was telling me that she has lots of homework and then to began to stifle!
P: My heart was throbbing and my legs were shaking.
M: Do you think that it was because of my cook.
D: No i don' t. Well, I will sound you.
D: Don't worry it's just my stethoscope. Now, breathe in and hold your breath. Please pull up your shirt, and breathe deply...Everything sounds good. Let's take a look at your throat. Please open wide and say « ah »
Do you take any tablets?
P: No, I don't.
D: Everything looks ship shape.
P: Wait, wait there is probably something wrong, just look at it again carefully please because my belly and my knuckles ache me.
D: Ok all right so, when I lean here, you ache?
P:ohhhhh aaahou ahhhhhh yes yes yes doctor it s very paining
D: And here?
D: ok fine
M: Is it serious doctor?
D: Ok you, little girl, stay there I' ll take your mother to the next room.
D: Perhaps you would better sit down, Mrs Sue. What can I tell you?
M: Diagnosis and prognosis, Doc. That's all I need to hear.
D: Mrs Sue, please sit.
M: All right, Doc. I'm sitting.. Now, , tell me!
D: Well, Mrs Sue I examined her and I noticed that your child 's behaving is peculiar.
M: You still ain't hearing me. Where'd you get your medical degree? I always thought you had to have some fancy college diploma to become a doctor, but shoot, I didn't even finish high school and Ive got more smarts than you. Don't tell me about... Just open up your mouth and tell me the name of whatever disease she has got.
D: You see...
M: Doc, I'll tell you what I will do. Because I'm a generous woman, I will give you one more chance to tell me what's wrong with my little girl. If you can do that, then I won't have to get up out of this chair. But if you continue to speak like a quack, I reckon I will have to punch you right in the nose. I may be a young woman but I could deliver a mean right hook
D: Mrs Sue, clearly you are upset.
M: You haven't even told me what's wrong with me yet
D: As I 've been trying to explain your child is lying, she is not ill she just doesn't want to go to school
M: What no it 's a mistake she loves school why would she make a scene
D: Because tomorrow she has lots of homework...do you remember what she said ?
M: oh yes she told me that she hs a math test too but ....
D: but what yo didn' t believe me ok let me prove you
hello everything is fine since i left ???
P: not all i feel bad
D: ok i check you again when i lean there does it ache you
P: Yes of course
D: but last time you told me that it 's aching you there ....
P: Yes but now i ache all over ...
D: ok at your opinion , what ' s the link with these symptoms and your pain
P: Doctor i think the diesease has been propagating every where in my body and it' s taking many shapes of disease
which can explain these symptoms
D: ok I see so it s straight to the operation block
nurse !! prepare the syringe you know the big one and scissors please
P: oh nooonoo mment i think there is a misunderstanding i just told you that i ache all over
nothing else maybe it is because i did sport yesterday or i don' t know This can' t be as serious as you think
I think if you pescrive me some medicin and letter to school the matter will be done .
D: ohhh but look at your girl she seems to be perfectly all right she doesn' t need medicin you can take your gril after paying fees
it costs 140 £ thank you have a nice day !
M: Yes thank you doctooooor youuuuuuuuuu come herrre ..!!!!!!!!!!
Please and thank you for reading this far;)
nobody?! please help me
Are there language errors? please