Language Arts

posted by .

Is my first paragraph of the essay good? Correct some mistakes.

The Lightning Thief book and movie are different and same in many ways. The book of the Lightning Thief is more interesting and detailed for most people who read the book and watched the movie. The movie sometimes has things that the book doesn’t have and sometimes the book has things that the movie doesn’t have, however, there are some things that are also the same. In the book and the movie of the Lightning Thief, Percy Jackson, son of the Greek god, Poseidon, is on his way to find back Zeus’ stolen lightning bolt, and the thief who stole it. Percy has finally returned the stolen lightning bolt and found who had stole it, it was Luke!

  • Language Arts -

    This single paragraph is very mixed up and difficult to read.

    Whenever you are writing a comparison/contrast paper (paragraph, essay, research paper), you need to plan it out very carefully on paper first.

    Try this:

    1. Write all the information about one of your topics on one page.
    2. Write all the information about the other topic on another page.
    3. Then put them together in this order:

    1. Intro
    2. All about topic A
    ~~~2A. detail 1
    ~~~2B. detail 2
    ~~~2C. detail 3
    ~~~2D. detail 4
    ~~~2E. detail 5
    3. All about topic B
    ~~~3A. detail 1
    ~~~3B. detail 2
    ~~~3C. detail 3
    ~~~3D. detail 4
    ~~~3E. detail 5
    4. Concl.

    The number of details for each topic will vary depending on your main points. I would include comparisons (how they are similar) in the introduction and conclusion, but sections 2 and 3 and all those details will be stating and explaining how they are different.

    There are two recognized patterns for writing comparison/contrast papers. One is casually referred to as "zig-zag,” but can be very confusing for the reader if you don’t use transitions effectively. The other is topic-by-topic (which is what I've outlined above) and is much easier for the reader to follow.

    See http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/comparcontrast.html for further help with comparison/contrast writing.

    Once you have organized your information, please re-post if you’d like feedback from someone here.

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English

    Before I start posting my questions, I want to ask has anyone read "The Lightning Thief"?
  2. Language Arts 7th Grade

    I am doing a project on Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. I need to five 5 Hero's Journey Archetypes, but i can't seem to think of any except for 2 which are The Underworld and The Hero. I do not have my archetypes …
  3. language arts peer edit

    The Lightning Thief book and movie are different and same in many ways. The book of the Lightning Thief is more interesting and detailed for most people who read the book and watched the movie. The movie sometimes has things that the …
  4. physics

    A thief is trying to escape from a parking garage after completing a robbery, and the thief's car is speeding (v = 14 m/s) toward the door of the parking garage (see figure). When the thief is L = 31 m from the door, a police officer …
  5. English

    I'm a 1500 comparative essay on 2 books. I was wondering what the layout should be like?
  6. Percy Jackson:Lightning Theif

    I have to print some pictures about or from the book "Lightning Theif" Does anyone know some pictures?
  7. English

    Im doing a project about a book and here is one of my instructions. In this third circle write four quotations from The Lightning Thief that relate to the center sketch. Document this quotation properly (The Lightning Thief, Riordan, …
  8. English

    "In this third circle, write four quotations from The Lightning Thief that relate to the center sketch. Document this quotation properly (The Lightning Thief, Riordan, pg. 84). Does the quotations I put have to be in complete sentence?
  9. Percy Jackson:Lightning Thief

    What is the motif in "Lightning Thief" ?
  10. English

    A thief must have broken into the house. The house is broken. There is a piece of cloth of a blue shirt on the table. On the floor, there are many footprints. Encyclopedia is looking for evidences with a magnifier. Who do you think …

More Similar Questions