for english class i have to write a poem personifying something. I chose to personify a picture in a picture frame. I am not at all good at poems and was wondering if you guys could read mine and tell me what changed i should make and if its really bad and i should just start over :/ lol
~Picture in a Picture Frame~
Oh, picture in a picture frame.
How you write us a story with just a few simple colors and shapes.
You can replay a story that happened many years ago
You can breathe life into a still photo.
On a desk,on a table, on a mantle, whereever you are and wereever you go You write a beautiful story, a song, a play, or a novel.
Your worth a thousand words.
Oh, picture in a picture frame.
The second line needs to be rhymed whith something as well as the fifth.
I'd be happy to help you with your poem! Here are a few suggestions to consider:
1. Consider adding more specific imagery to enhance your description of the picture in the frame. Think about what the picture looks like, the emotions it evokes, or any elements that stand out to you.
2. Try to use more vivid language and figurative language techniques such as similes, metaphors, or personification to bring your poem to life.
3. Experiment with the rhythm and rhyme scheme of your poem. Play around with different structures or poetic devices like alliteration or assonance to create a more engaging and rhythmic flow.
4. Consider expanding on the emotions and feelings associated with the picture. How does it make the viewer feel? What memories or experiences does it trigger?
5. Think about the perspective of the picture itself. How does it perceive the world around it? Does it long to be viewed or appreciated?
6. Finally, don't be too hard on yourself! Poetry is subjective, and what matters most is expressing your thoughts and emotions. Keep practicing and refining your skills.
Feel free to share an updated version of your poem, and I'll be happy to provide more feedback!
Sure! I'd be happy to help you with your poem.
First of all, it's great that you've chosen to personify a picture in a picture frame. Let's go through your poem and see how we can improve it.
~Picture in a Picture Frame~
Oh, picture in a picture frame,
How you weave stories with colors, so tame.
You capture moments from years gone by,
Breathing life into stillness, oh, how you make us sigh.
Resting on a desk, adorning a table, or held by a mantle,
You spin tales with beauty, like a poet with a quill.
A symphony of emotions, a theatrical display,
Each stroke and hue speaks volumes, in its own unique way.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words,
But your power transcends, like singing birds.
Oh, picture in a picture frame, you hold our memories dear,
A timeless treasure, forever crystal clear.
Now, let's talk about what has changed and why:
1. In the first stanza, I changed "write us a story" to "weave stories." This adds a sense of artistry and creativity to the picture's ability to capture moments.
2. In the second stanza, I added the phrase "so tame" to describe the colors. This helps emphasize the simplicity and yet, the powerful impact they have.
3. In the third stanza, I rephrased the line "You can replay a story that happened many years ago" to "You capture moments from years gone by." The new phrasing adds a touch of nostalgia and reminds the reader that the picture holds cherished memories.
4. In the fourth stanza, I added the phrase "or held by a mantle" to give more options for where the picture can be placed. This helps in visualizing different settings.
5. In the same stanza, I changed "write a beautiful story, a song, a play, or a novel" to "spin tales with beauty, like a poet with a quill." This metaphor adds depth and elegance to the picture's storytelling ability.
6. In the fifth stanza, I changed "Your worth a thousand words" to "They say a picture is worth a thousand words." This change reflects a common expression and makes the line more relatable for readers.
7. Lastly, in the sixth stanza, I added the line "A timeless treasure, forever crystal clear" to accentuate the lasting impact and clarity of the picture's memories.
Overall, your poem has a lovely theme and captures the essence of personifying a picture in a picture frame. The changes I've suggested aim to enhance the imagery and flow, while maintaining the emotional connection with the subject. Keep revising and experimenting, and don't be afraid to make the poem your own! Good luck with your English class!