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Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help

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So I am writing about how I agree with this one critic that Hawthorne over used symbolism in the book the Scarlet Letter.

My thesis:
He stressed the sin by stretching the idea and making it seem like it is a mystical character itself, and allowing it to be able to physically harm and hinder the other main characters in the book.

do you think it is good?
thanks:)

  • Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help -

    I'd do the following:

    -- replace "He" with "Hawthorne"
    -- clarify "the idea" and "it" (in all places)
    -- replace "like" with "as if"

    Once you make these corrections, please repost, and then someone here will be able to tell you more.

  • Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help -

    ok thanks

    New Thesis:

    Hawthorne stressed the sin by stretching the idea of sin and making the letter A seem as if it is a mystical character itself, and allowing the letter(sounds a little weird, should I put "sin" instead?) to be able to physically harm and hinder the other main characters in the book.

  • Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help -

    How's this:

    Hawthorne stressed the sin by stretching the idea of sin, making the letter A seem as if it is a mystical character itself, and allowing the letter to be able to physically harm and hinder the other main characters in the book.

    I made your series parallel ("by stretching... making ... allowing..."), but other than that it needs no other corrections.

    I think it's a good thesis and should lead to a good, interesting paper.

  • Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help -

    ok thanks:)it great

  • Scarlet Letter - essay - Thesis help -

    YW!!

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