descriptive essay

posted by .

This is my introduction paragraph for a descriptive essay. My professor told me that the thesis was a fact, not an idea. Is there a way that I can reword it to make it an idea?

Though being a parent is one of the greatest joys of life, teen parenting comes with a few consequences. Living in the attic of my boyfriend’s mother’s house is one of mine. The small apartment my boyfriend’s mom rents is located above a family owned grocery store. While the attic of the apartment serves as a pretty large bedroom for one person, it is not an ideal place for two young adults and a toddler to spend most of their time together. Maneuvering in the crowded room amongst the obstacles of toys, diapers, shoes, laundry baskets, and other personal belongings is a daily hassle. Finding enough space to organize all of our belongings is impossible. There is barely enough space to walk through the room. Sharing such a small space with between so many people is not something I am accustomed to; before I graduated from high school, my daughter and I lived with my mother. My mom owns a decently sized three bedroom house. My old home is not anything spectacular, but it is definitely larger than where I am living now. In addition, being that my mom was always at work, my daughter and I had an entire spacious house all to ourselves; however, clearly, now that is not the case. My bedroom, which I share with my boyfriend and my daughter, is unbearably crowded.

  • descriptive essay -

    What is your thesis statement?

    What do you plan to describe?

  • descriptive essay -

    I would expand the essay into development of this idea: Stresses in life are amplified for teen parents.

    That is an idea.

  • descriptive essay -

    Thesis statement: My bedroom, which I share with my boyfriend and my daughter, is unbearably crowded.

    The professor wants one paragraph describing something to contrast to our main idea. That paragraph is about my mom's house. The rest of the essay is describing my bedroom.

  • descriptive essay -

    bobpursley- The essay has to describe a place. The thesis has to have a key term that refers to the place we are describing.

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions


    Can a descriptive essay be like a poem?
  2. Grammar and Composition

    for my descriptive essay, my teachaer approved the Asheville outline that i made...that's why i was waiting to start writing. here is the extended outline. please make any corrections: Broad Subject: vacation spots Limited Topic: Asheville, …
  3. History

    My instructor requested that I write a reflective prep paper for my final essay. Will I use words like (I, me, myself or personally) when referring to myself in a reflective essay?
  4. English

    I need help with starting my essay. These are the organization of my essay. I am not sure what to put for paragraph #2. *Broad subject-My name *Limited Topic for thesis statement-Learning to cope with my height *Main Idea about this …
  5. english

    what is a good thesis statment for a descriptive essay about a horror film?
  6. english

    i want to ask what be thematic statement?
  7. English

    The topic sentence of a body paragraph provides a thesis link by ________. A. revising the thesis to fit the body paragraph B. introducing the thesis of the essay C. mentioning the general subject of the essay D. providing an example …
  8. English

    As a general rule, where in your essay is it best to place your thesis statement?
  9. conclusions

    What function do conclusions serve in essays?
  10. Educational Technology

    Which of the following statements is true?

More Similar Questions