I have to write a final over race and my community and I am having trouble with the introdutcion. The instructions say " Your thesis statement must address racial issues in your local community.
Please make sure that you have a well-written introduction. The introduction gives a “sneak preview” of what is expected in the Body of the paper."
Does my introduction include this? I am having a hard time determining this. Thanks (introduction below)
I was born and raised in a fairly small city in North Eastern Texas. Denison is located in Grayson County on U.S. Highway 75, just 75 miles north of Dallas and 4 miles south of the Texas Oklahoma border. One of the interesting facts about my community is that it is the birthplace of the 34th president, Dwight D. Eisenhower. Denison has a few attractions that bring tourist to the area such as: the home where Eisenhower was born and Lake Texoma which is one of the largest reservoirs in the United States. The lake provides recreation and fishing opportunities for tourist and members of the community. While the city of Denison is primarily made up of Caucasian Americans, my community holds less than 25% of diversity.
This says nothing about racial "issues" in your community. An issue would be a "problem" or a matter of concern in your community.
Anonymous (the second) is correct. Our of that whole paragraph, only one sentence gets close to the topic:
"While the city of Denison is primarily made up of Caucasian Americans, my community holds less than 25% of diversity." If you intended that as your thesis statement, it doesn't work because it doesn't address the topic, doesn't state what an issue or several issues are.
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
Based on the instructions provided, it seems that your introduction may not fully address the racial issues in your local community. Your introduction primarily focuses on sharing information about your community, such as its location, attractions, and demographics. While these details can provide some context, they do not explicitly address racial issues.
To improve your introduction, you could consider incorporating a thesis statement that specifically highlights the racial issues in your community. Here's an example of how you could revise your introduction:
"I was born and raised in Denison, a small city in North Eastern Texas. While Denison is known for being the birthplace of President Dwight D. Eisenhower and its picturesque attractions like Lake Texoma, there is an underlying racial dynamic that shapes the experiences of its residents. This paper will examine the racial issues present in my local community, exploring the challenges faced by its diverse population and the efforts being made to promote equity and inclusivity."
By including a thesis statement like the revised example above, you clearly convey to your reader that your paper will delve into the racial issues in your community. This gives them a preview of what they can expect in the body of your paper.