Can someone please help revise. It is a proposal for a research paper! Thank You!
Work and family are both central to our way of life. Finding a balance between the two is an issue of importance to men, women, and employers. Therefore, I will argue that the constant struggle to meet our responsibilities both as employees, but also as breadwinners and mothers and father has ultimately negatively affected the family and society as a whole.
I will support my study by analyzing the negative impact of parents work experience, on the family that then spill over into our society. Work schedules have contributed to current social issues varying from delinquency to even obesity. For example, parental work schedules threatening family meals. Inflexible work hours have made it difficult for parents to even provide a good homemade healthy meal for their children, causing obesity in children.
Work and family are both central to our way of life. Finding a balance between the two is an issue of importance to men, women, and employers. The current work standards in United States and the lack of family friendly policies implemented in the workplace has created tensions between work and home life. I will argue that the constant struggle to meet our responsibilities both as employees, but also as breadwinners and mothers and father has ultimately negatively affected the family.
Much better. That first sentence sticks in my craw, but this is a proposal. (central to our way of life...flag waving).
The last sentence is strong, and I think a good basis for a paper.
This is not college level writing. Before you go farther, read these thoroughly and carefully:
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/07/07/the-differences-between-college-writing-and-high-school-writing/
and
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Get rid of "I will argue..." This is 3rd grade writing at best.
Please re-post when you have revised.
I see no difference between the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs you posted.
One additional thing:
Your first and last sentences in the revised paragraph you wrote seem to contradict each other. You may not have to turn in a complete explanation of that to your instructor, but you should be prepared to explain how you plan to bridge from that first concept to the last one.
Sure, I'd be happy to help revise your proposal for a research paper! Here's a revised version of your paragraph:
Title: The Negative Impact of Work-Life Balance on Families and Society
Abstract:
The balance between work and family is paramount in our modern way of life, which is why it is crucial to address the challenges faced by both men and women, as well as employers. This research paper aims to examine the adverse effects that the constant struggle to fulfill multiple roles (as employees, breadwinners, and parents) has on families and society as a whole.
Introduction:
In today's society, it is increasingly difficult to strike a balance between work responsibilities and family obligations. This paper seeks to demonstrate how this struggle negatively affects the well-being of families and society at large. By analyzing the impact of parents' work experiences on the family unit, we can shed light on how these factors contribute to various social issues, including delinquency and obesity.
Body:
One significant aspect to consider is the effect of work schedules on family dynamics. A prime example is the threat to family mealtimes as a result of parental work schedules. Inflexible work hours make it challenging for parents to prepare homemade, healthy meals for their children. Consequently, this lack of nourishment and limited family interaction during meals has been linked to a rise in childhood obesity.
Furthermore, the strain of juggling work and family responsibilities often leads to a decline in overall parental involvement, which detrimentally impacts a child's upbringing. Parents experience increased stress levels and reduced availability for their children's emotional and educational needs. Consequently, children may be more prone to social and behavioral issues, potentially contributing to delinquency within society.
Conclusion:
Addressing the negative consequences of an imbalanced work-life dynamic is crucial for the well-being of families and society as a whole. By understanding the impact of work schedules on family life, policymakers and employers can strive towards implementing more flexible work arrangements to promote healthier family dynamics and ultimately mitigate social issues such as delinquency and obesity.
I hope this revision captures the essence of your research proposal and provides a more coherent structure for your paper. Feel free to make any further revisions based on these suggestions.