I was wondering if someone could tell me how I can improve my thesis statement/opening paragraph. I'm writing an essay on hamlet from the perspective of formalism (examining a work of literature's language and structure). Here it is:

Formalism is a type of literary criticism which examines the structure of the literary work, analyzes the use of language, disregard issues external to the play, and hold the work of literature as an art form in itself. In Hamlet, Prince Hamlet reveals his true thoughts, feelings, motivation, and overall state of mind through his seven soliloquies and numerous puns.

In the first sentence, all your verbs need to be in third person singular.

Since this is not my area of expertise, that is all the feedback I can give.

I hope it helps.

Thanks! Yes, I noticed that awhile after I posted this...

In order to improve your thesis statement and opening paragraph on Hamlet from the perspective of formalism, you can focus on providing a clear and concise introduction to your topic while also setting up the main arguments you will be exploring in your essay. Here's an improved version:

Formalism, a literary criticism approach that emphasizes the examination of a work's language and structure, offers a unique perspective to understand the depth and artistry within literature. By delving into the world of Hamlet, William Shakespeare's renowned tragedy, the use of soliloquies and puns by Prince Hamlet can be explored to unravel the true essence of his character, shedding light on his innermost thoughts, emotions, motivations, and state of mind. This essay aims to analyze the linguistic and structural techniques employed by Shakespeare in Hamlet to underscore the central themes and complexities of the play.

To enhance your thesis statement and opening paragraph, here are a few explanations on the changes made:

1. Clearly define formalism: Begin by providing a clear definition of formalism, explaining that it is a literary criticism approach that focuses on language and structure analysis, while excluding external issues.

2. Emphasize the significance of Hamlet's soliloquies and puns: Highlight the specific techniques used in Hamlet, such as the seven soliloquies and numerous puns, which serve as powerful tools through which Prince Hamlet expresses his thoughts, feelings, motivations, and overall state of mind.

3. Convey the purpose of the essay: Clearly state that the essay aims to analyze the linguistic and structural elements employed by Shakespeare in Hamlet, in order to uncover the central themes and complexities of the play. This gives the reader a preview of what to expect in the essay.

Remember, a strong thesis statement and opening paragraph should provide a clear overview of your topic, while also capturing the reader's attention and setting the foundation for your arguments.