posted by .

Can you help me check this paragraph?

1) When I was a child, I went to the seaside with my family and some of my parents’ friends. One day it was very hot so I decided to go into the water with my friends and our small inflatable mattress.
2)We swam dragging the inflatable mattress with us but we didn’t realize that the more we swam the more the water became deep and when we discovered it , it was too late.
We were far away from the beach and we didn’t see our parents.
3) We were scared, we shouted but we weren’t alone because near us there were two guys who were about 15 years old and they brought us on their inflatable mattress, that was bigger than ours.
4)So, thanks to them, we arrived on the beach. We were scared but save

  • English -

    1. OK

    2. Comma after "us" and comma after "swam." Make a new sentence after "deep." Comma after "beach."

    3. Make a new sentence after "scared." Comma after "shouted." New sentence after "15 years old." No comma after "mattress."

    4. Last word is "safe" and put a period at the end of the sentence.

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. english can someone help me please

    i finished writing my intro and i'm working on writing my second paragraph in which i have to narrate my story as if i was telling it to another person. Here I go: For eight years, i was born and raised in India. My family and i lived …
  2. English

    1. I went to Children's Grand Park. I rode a roller coaster. I learned how to ride some play things. 2. I went to China with my family. I visited the Great Wall. I learned the history of the Great Wall. 3. I went to the English Summer …
  3. English

    Can you help me check this paragraph? Thank you for your last corrections! 1) It was midnight. We were walking through the street. There wasn’t anybody, everything was quiet, when a fast car jumped out of the darkness. 2)The car
  4. English

    Can you check the following paragraphs for me?
  5. English

    Can you please tell if the word choice is correct and how I can improve it?
  6. English

    Can you please check the following statements with me?
  7. English

    I urgently need you to check these sentences, too. Thank you. 1) Hi Andrew, how are you?
  8. English

    I still have a few sentences to check. Thank you very much, Writeacher. 1) During my last holiday I went to Switzerland. For my birthday my parents gave me cards for a horse jumping tournment in Zurich and I went to watch it. 2)We …
  9. English

    Writeacher, I know you are not there. However, I urgently need someone of you to check this short story. I hope Ms Sue or anyone else will help me. 1) I spent my Easter holidays with my family at my grandparents' house in London. I …
  10. English

    Bobpursley, Ms Sue I urgently need you to check this paragraph. Thank you very much in advance!!! I made a change in the last sentence. 1) I spent my Easter holidays with my family at my grandparents' house in London. I had a very …

More Similar Questions