posted by Sara .
Once upon a time in a faraway island named Flutter island lived Kelly the butterfly and her friends. Her friends were Chloe, Erik, and Jim. They always played together. (Would with each other be fine?)
Then one day as they were playing hide and go seek a large snake appeared. That snake was going to destroy Flutter Island with his team of other snakes.
Kelly did not want this to happen and decided to do something. She thought of a plan with her friends and decided to work it out.
Kelly and her friends brought out all the butterflies living in Flutter Island to face to face with the snakes.
After seeing the wicked snakes, they all got scared. Kelly knew she had something in her which no one else had. Kelly had magic powers.
Kelly used her magic powers to destroy all the snakes. Her magic powers worked.
Flutter Island was saved from danger. Everyone thanked Kelly. They all decided to make Kelly the princess of Flutter Island. Kelly was very happy. They all lived happily ever after.
I’m doing another fairytale thing, but this time it’s not a “fairytale”, it’s a kid’s book. I think this is a bit long, so I need help shortening it out. I want to have 6 Para’s instead of 7. Also I don’t really like the plan I made up, your assistance on this would be appreciated, thanks. P.S- I don’t mind you changing the story up a bit.
If Flutter had these magic powers, why did she have to assemble all the other butterflies? Why not just get rid of the snakes on her own? Possibly, would the other butterflies magnify/increase her powers?
Until you get these questions answered, I won't bother with proofreading comments.
I hope this helps.