I'm writing a DBQ Essay on Civil War and Reconstruction. The major question is What led the Southern states to secede from the Union in 1860 and 1861? My question is can i include as a thesis to state the civil war has negative effects than positive effects on the economy and people.
Ok, here is my intro.
Thousands of people in the major war of history which is the Civil War had died due to states rights. Southern States believed that they had the right to determine their own priorities and this led to secession. They didn’t want to be controlled or ruled by the Northerners who also opposed slavery. A main part of Southern’s economy was based on slavery, agricultural and labor. Therefore, they felt the Northerners were dictators and taking away their rights. As a result, Abraham Lincoln believed the priorities of the states were less important than the priorities of the nation. His point of view was unity is the best way to rule a nation so it can survive but there were many differences between the North and the South. Many compromises would have to be made in order to satisfy both the North and South but sooner or later the nation won’t be able to handle it and a crisis will begin and the whole nation will corrupt. Although there were more negative effects than positive effects which prove how slavery will take a long time to end due to the southern states desiring slavery to boost their economy which would lead to secession.
I want to add more but how does this sound? Should i fix anything about it?
It seems to me that all this is very confusing.
An introduction should lead the past and surroundings to the thesis. What is all this nonsense about Lincoln have to do with your thesis?
In my prior post, I gave you a link to the reasons for the Civil war. Did you read that?
Secondly, what do you mean the main idea is what caused the war? What does that have to do with your thesis?
What you have written, at least to me, is very confusing, and not helping you develop a clear thesis.
Okay, then im sorry if i did this wrong but im just trying to see what I can do. I'm not perfect at this, ok but atleast im trying and not giving up. I stil appreciate it for you answering my question.
Therefore, your trying to state i should include the causes of the civil war and how it led up to secession
Thousands of people in the major war of history, known as the "Civil War" had died due to states rights. Southern States believed that they had the right to determine their own priorities and this led to secession. They didn’t want to be controlled or ruled by the Northerners who also opposed slavery. A main part of Southernism economy was based on slavery, agriculture and labor. Therefore, they felt the Northerners were dictators, and moreover taking away their rights. As a result, Abraham Lincoln believed the priorities of the states were less important than the priorities of the nation. His point of view was unity is the best way to rule a nation so it can survive but there were many differences between the North and the South. Many compromises would have to be made in order to satisfy both the North and South but sooner or later the nation won’t be able to handle it and a crisis will begin and the whole nation will corrupt. Although there were more negative effects than positive effects which proved how slavery would take a long time to end due to the southern states desiring slavery to boost their economy; which would lead to secession.
I changed it a little bit. The last sentence is pretty long, so you may want to shorten it out. Your paragraph is very good. You could add more in this, but I think it's fine.
Ok, thanks a lot. Happy Holidays
And Happy Holidays to you Bob
yeah, happy holidays. You should listen to bobpursely and do your theseis his way. I actually never read your "assignment" given to you. I just read your paragraph randomly. Sorry for giving you wrong info.
Your thesis statement, stating that the Civil War had more negative effects than positive effects on the economy and people, is a strong and clear argument. It sets the direction for your essay and provides a preview of the main points you will discuss.
Your introduction provides a good overview of the context and background of the Civil War and the reasons for Southern secession. It effectively highlights the key differences between the North and the South and the issue of states' rights. However, there are a few suggestions to enhance the clarity and flow of your introduction:
1. Consider starting with a more attention-grabbing opening sentence to immediately engage your reader. For example, you could begin with a vivid description, a provocative statement, or a relevant quote.
2. Break down your introduction into shorter paragraphs to improve readability. This will make it easier for your reader to follow your ideas and arguments.
3. Avoid using repetitive phrases. For instance, you used the phrase "the priorities of" multiple times. Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure.
4. Consider rephrasing your sentence about Abraham Lincoln's point of view on unity. It might be more effective to directly state his stance on preserving the Union and preventing secession.
Here is a revised version of your introduction that incorporates these suggestions:
The outbreak of the Civil War, one of the most significant conflicts in history, resulted from the deep-rooted divisions between the Northern and Southern states. With a core disagreement over states' rights, the Southern states felt compelled to secede from the Union in 1860 and 1861. At the heart of this conflict was the Southern states' staunch defense of slavery - the backbone of their economy and labor force. Their resistance to northern pressure to abolish slavery led them to view the Northerners as dictators encroaching upon their autonomy. Conversely, President Abraham Lincoln emphasized the preservation of the Union over the prioritization of states' rights. From this perspective, unity was the foundation for national survival. However, the North-South differences were vast, making it challenging to find a compromise that satisfied both factions. Consequently, the nation faced an ever-growing crisis that ultimately led to secession. This essay will argue that the negative effects of the Civil War outweighed the positive ones. Chief among these effects was the protracted struggle to eliminate slavery as the southern states clung to it as an economic necessity, driving them to sever ties with the Union.
Remember, as you continue writing your essay, it's important to provide evidence and analysis to support your thesis statement. Good luck!