Creative Writing

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For my compare and contrast essay on: The Tale of Two Very Different Birthdays .
this is what I did for freewriting at first:

-16th birthday = very fun and exciting
--got presents from my whole family
--went out to eat dinner with my friends and family
--had a wonderful cake at home

-17th birthday = not very fun
--dull and boring day
--not many presents from my family and friends
--home made small cake
--didn’t go out to eat

afterwards, I added a bit more detail into the freewriting:

16th birthday:
The day I turned 16 was the most fun and exciting day of my life. I got amazing presents from my whole family, which included everything I wanted. My family invited all of my friends over at our house and we got to hang out the whole day. First we went to the movie theater to watch a new movie that came out. Afterwards my whole family and all of my friends that were over went out to eat dinner at Olive Garden. When we came back home, there was a marvelous ice-cream cake waiting with my name on it. Overall my sixteenth birthday was amazing.

17th birthday:
On the other hand, my 17th birthday had to be one of the dullest and boring days of my life. I had to stay home all day and baby sit my brothers and sisters while my parents went out to run some errands. Everyone was so busy with his or her jobs that I didn’t get nearly as many presents as the year before. In fact, I only got two presents from my friends, neither of them being as good as last year’s. Since my parents had so much work during the day, all of us had to eat leftovers for dinner because my mother had not gotten time to prepare anything fresh. After dinner, my siblings served a small, home-made cake that they made by themselves a few days earlier. In conclusion, this birthday was not how I expected to turn 17.


How should I organize my essay? Aside from the intro and conclusion, how should i focus the middle (body) three paragraphs?
I mean, obviously, one para will be on 16th and a second on the 17th birthdya. But then, what about the third paragarph?

please tell me what would be the best way to organize and write this essay

thanks so much guys

  • Creative Writing -

    How about comparing and contrasting?

    * the specific presents you received each year
    * the names of the friends on your 16th and their names, and your activities that day vs. the names, ages, and activities of the siblings you babysat on your 17th
    * your specific Olive Garden meal with your leftovers
    * the flavors of the two cakes

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