Can someone help me understand how to remove the 'passive voice' from the following Conclusion?
Included in the preceding paper is a comprehensive discussion on the takeover target of Wal-mart. The identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization are included. The investment bank used to issue stock and its’ role in the organization is identified. Also included is a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and the role that these entities play for investors is examined. Wal-mart is deemed to be a very strong takeover target.
"The identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization are included."
The passive verb above is "are included." One way to change this sentence:
It identifies any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays.
"The investment bank used to issue stock and its’ role in the organization is identified."
The passive voice verb above is "is identified."
" Also included is a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and the role that these entities play for investors is examined."
The passive voice verb is "is examined."
If you post your corrections of these sentences, we'll be glad to comment on them.
In the preceding paper, Team B included a comprehensive discussion on the takeover target of Wal-mart. The Team identified of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization. The Team also named the investment bank used by Wal-mart to issue stock and identified the role the bank plays in the organization. Team B also included a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and examined the role that these entities play for investors. Wal-mart is a very strong takeover target for the organization that Team B represents.
To remove the passive voice from the conclusion, you would need to rephrase the sentences in an active voice. In passive voice constructions, the subject receives the action of the verb, which can make the sentence sound more indirect and less engaging. In active voice constructions, the subject performs the action of the verb, making the sentence clearer and more direct.
Let's go sentence by sentence to remove the passive voice:
1. The identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization are included.
Revised: We include the identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each lender plays in the organization.
2. The investment bank used to issue stock and its role in the organization is identified.
Revised: We identify the investment bank that Wal-mart uses to issue stock and explain its role in the organization.
3. Also included is a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and the role that these entities play for investors is examined.
Revised: We discuss the government entities responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and examine the role these entities play for investors.
4. Wal-mart is deemed to be a very strong takeover target.
This sentence is already in active voice, so no changes are needed.
After making these revisions, the conclusion will be free from passive voice constructions.