English1A

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I'm doing a research project and chose "Greetings and Gestures" for my topic. So far I have my introduction and thesis.

Greetings and Gestures

All culture groups have various ways of communicating with one another. Some forms may be universal while others may vary with the culture. Communication can involve speaking, or it could also include some form of body language or gesture. When two people meet for the first time, the proper thing to do is to introduce themselves and greet one another properly depending on what culture they come from. Greetings may involve more than just words. It is not only important on how the greeting is said, but also how it is done, such as touching and the movement of the body like waving or bowing. As some cultures greet one another with a hug or a kiss, others do not which can cause problems for some when they are not aware of what is allowed and what is not. In addition, because first impression is most important when first meeting someone, it is important to know how to handle these types of situations, as some people might take it offensively or personal and will consider it disrespectful if the greeting or gesture is performed in wrong or informal way. "While some greetings and gestures may be acceptable in one culture, it may not be so in another, which is why people it important to be aware of the cultural difference when visiting countries or meeting people from different ethnic backgrounds for the first time to avoid any misunderstanding."

My thesis is in quotes.

My outline is something like this:

I. Introduction
A. Greetings
B. Gestures
C. Thesis
II.Greetings
A. History
B. Culture
III. Greetings
A. Do's
B. Taboos
IV. Gestures
A. History
B. Culture
V. Gestures
A. Do's
B. Taboos
VI. Conclusion

I basically want to write about what gestures and greetings is appropriate in one culture, may not be appropriate in another.

  • English1A -

    This is far too long for an introduction, and far too detailed, as well. All the sentences in bold below need to go into the body of the paper somewhere. In their place you need to put something that will catch the reader's attention and make him/her WANT to keep reading your paper.

    All culture groups have various ways of communicating with one another. Some forms (forms of what?) may be universal while others may vary with the culture. Communication can involve speaking, or it could also include some form of body language or gesture. When two people meet for the first time, the proper thing to do is to introduce themselves and greet one another properly depending on what culture they come from. Greetings may involve more than just words. It is not only important on how the greeting is said, but also how it is done, such as touching and the movement of the body like waving or bowing. As some cultures greet one another with a hug or a kiss, others do not which can cause problems for some when they are not aware of what is allowed and what is not. In addition, because first impression is most important when first meeting someone, it is important to know how to handle these types of situations, as some people might take it offensively or personal and will consider it disrespectful if the greeting or gesture is performed in wrong or informal way. "While some greetings and gestures may be acceptable in one culture, it may not be so in another, which is why people it important to be aware of the cultural difference when visiting countries or meeting people from different ethnic backgrounds for the first time to avoid any misunderstanding."

    In addition, your thesis statement is also far too long and convoluted.

    Your outline looks fine. Keep all the details in there.

    Be careful to match any references -- you don't want any plural pronouns trying to refer to a singular antecedent, nor do you want a verb in singular form to have a plural subject.

    And make sure every single instance of "it" and any other vague pronoun has a clear antecedent.

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