how about this:
Introduction—reader’s attention and states thesis statement.
Paragraph 1
The first paragraph should get the reader’s attention and sate the thesis statement.
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Since I was a little kid my family has been visiting Asheville, North Carolina, every year for a vacation. I still remember the first time I went there; I was astounded as I entered into the green world of breathtaking beauty, peace, and tranquility. The memory of me standing in the middle of the spectacular meadow surrounded by gigantic trees towering to the sky is still vivid. It was my first time ever visiting such a place. I had never seen so much nature and greenery in any place I had ever been to before. However, the scenery is not the only thing that I love about Asheville.
The LAST SENTENCE OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH states the THESIS STATEMENT with the three-step format. This is the topic and the main idea about the topic with the three points that you plan to discuss in your essay.
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Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors
pleease tell me if this is ok so i can keep going on the rest
I think it is better, but could be better. Go on, but think on revising. I assume you read the Twain essay I gave you. Aim for that language. You can do it, but after you take a break, come back, read it aloud, and revise. You want to be just as vivid as Twain, or Thoreau. I am certain you can. The reader ought to soak it in, feel like they are there, and wonder what is next.
Proceed with more. But the key to great writing is revise, revise, revise
thank you. your comments are helping a lot.
i have also posted the first part of the body paragraph. if you have any more details that i can add pleaaase let me know
thanks bobpursley
To develop the thesis statement, you can break it down into the following three steps:
1. Identify the main topic: In this case, the main topic is Asheville, North Carolina as a vacation destination.
2. State the main idea about the topic: The main idea is that Asheville is a fun and relaxing place to visit.
3. Provide three supporting points: The three supporting points mentioned in the paragraph are:
- Refreshing river: This point indicates that Asheville has a river where visitors can enjoy activities like swimming or boating.
- Beautiful picnic spots: This point highlights that Asheville offers picturesque places for picnicking, where visitors can relax and enjoy their meals in a serene environment.
- Various ice-cream parlors: This point suggests that Asheville has a variety of ice-cream parlors, providing delicious treats for visitors to indulge in.
By combining these three steps, the thesis statement can be formulated as follows:
"Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors."