Creative Writing. ms.sue

posted by y912f

ok ms.sue. i'v fixed everything you told me to in the four paragraphs. now please just check the last paragraph. and i'm done with the essay:

Has there ever been a time or situation when you had a great amount of emotions going through your head? For me it was the day when my baby sister was born. The memory of that day is so clear and vivid in my mind that I don’t think it will every fade away. This is mostly because of the different emotions that I was feeling on that day. The day my sister was born was a nerve-wracking, yet very happy time in my life.

It was when I woke up that I found out that my parents had left for the hospital. This news was much unexpected and caught me by surprise. Immediately I was filled with pleasure and enthusiasm; I had been waiting for this day for a long time now. A few hours went by with not much news from my dad. Now my excitement was slowly turning into anxiety and uneasiness.

It was around six o clock when the phone rang. I don’t know why but I jumped when I heard it, and ran to pick it up. It was just one of my aunt’s asking me how everything was going. She was disappointed when I couldn’t give her enough information. There were many other calls after this one, but I didn’t bother to answer; I knew they weren’t from my dad. The day seemed to stretch on forever, mostly because there was nothing to do but wait. This was the time when my negative feelings started to overcome me. All I could think was: what if something went wrong? This concern was not present in any of my siblings.

I could feel the excitement dying away and the worries coming in. I was worried about my mom and what she might be feeling. The depressing thoughts were troubling my mind so much that I wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on in my house. All I could ask for was a phone call from my dad, just to know if everything was going well. I tried calling my dad once, but it went straight to the answering machine. Now we were all getting more and more anxious, even irritated at him for not picking up his phone. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one now who was halfhearted.

I wasn’t going to let this gloomy environment take over our emotions. I tried to bring cheerful thoughts back into my mind. I had just started making casual talk with my older sister when the phone rang. We all ran to get it but I was the one who got there first. It was my dad so I picked it up right away. I talked for a while and as soon as I got off the phone I had three pairs of eager eyes looking questioningly at me. With a smile I told them all that it was a baby girl. Soon the quiet and depressing mood of the house was changed to one of joy and happiness. Before we knew it my dad was home to take us to see the baby. Even though I was very tense and stressed most of the day, it all paid off in the end when I got to see my new baby sister.

  1. y912f

    also, can you please suggest a good title for this essay?

    thanks

  2. Ms. Sue

    Good essay!

    For a title -- how about?

    New Baby Brings Stress and Happiness

  3. y912f

    ok. thanks a lot for helping me with the whole essay :)

  4. Ms. Sue

    You're very welcome.

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. ms.sue english check

    i talk to you about a two paragraph essay and you help me chhose boxing and give me a intro is there anyway i can write my essay now and you can grade it or tell me what i got wrong fixmy mistakes and tell me if its good.thank you …
  2. Creative Writing. ms.sue

    ok . here's the 2nd && 3rd paragraph: It was when I woke up that I found out that my parents had left for the hospital. This news was much unexpected and caught me by surprise. Immediately I was filled with pleasure and enthusiasm; …
  3. English 7 (Ms. Sue)

    Ms. Sue I need your help for the second paragraph for my essay. I need 3 supporting deatils for this paragraph but I got 1, need 2 more. Rosa Parks wanted people (blacks) to be free and have a better education. Most blacks couldn't …
  4. ms. sue

    ms. sue for story yesterday i hve these other questions why does author end with "eyes" because she experience everything with them?
  5. English - ms. sue

    ms. sue this be ending part of my description writer paragraph, you please tell me if it be good, also what be last thing i say to conclude it well?
  6. English ms. sue

    ms. sue for the book catcher in the rye i am being ackley describing holden, and i choose the 2nd incident when holden goes to ackleys room that one night after getting socked from stradlater. i not know what be a good title for this …
  7. English ms. sue

    ms. sue i still writing the compare and contrast essay. teacher say that holden be seeking closure, what do that mean?
  8. English - ms. sue

    ms. sue i writing an essay on : is it possible to live a peaceful/happy life in times of today?
  9. English - ms. sue

    thanks ms. sue for reading story yesterday, i need help writing essay that be on Wat expense be paid by beings & by society 4 their unhesitating approval of tradition or brutal social rituals. Do there be rituals that have outlasted …
  10. Social studies

    Was Robespierre a hero or villain? What were some of the things he did (good and bad). Im writing a multi- paragraph essay and I don't really get who he is and what he did. (Ms. Sue;)

More Similar Questions