English

posted by .

Please look at my mini-essay and tell me what needs improvement! It's a response to a passage from a book.
Thank you. :)

Millions of people all around the world are living in the past or looking to the future. “2012 is the end of the world,” “When I was younger…” “I don’t want to get older! Wrinkles, ew!” and so on. People are obsessive compulsive about it! You can hardly blame them, though. Society is based around time (scheduled TV shows, sports seasons, school and work hours, ect.), it is impossible to avoid thinking about what is going to happen a week from now, or what happened last month. However, some people take it to the extreme; they can never enjoy what is happening at the moment because they are too preoccupied with what is going to happen and what has already happened. Too many people cannot enjoy the little good things, such as eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake or receiving a hug, in life because they are too worried about wrinkles or 2012.
This is one of the wisest things I have ever read. Although it is not a big issue in the novel, it is practically a disease in real life. I think a lot of people need to read this book. And after they do that, they need to sit down and think about what Coelho has written. He does not cease to amaze me. He has managed to capture the prominent aspects in Buddhist philosophy and shape them into a simple, yet brilliant, outlook on life in 167 pages.

  • English -

    It is hard to judge the value of this without knowing what your assignment was. What you have written is your thoughts on other people. If it is intended to pass what the author thought, it failed in that it seldom mentioned what information was in the book, nor the ideas, or conclusions. Is there a reason for that?

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. Essay Revisions

    I need help with editing my essay. I know my english sucks, so here I am. I need to know if it's FIRST AND FOREMOST on topic, grammatically correct, if the syntax is correct(i hate syntax), if my thesis is strong and repeated, and …
  2. my topic. students, please post ur opinion too.

    hi i need help coming up with topics for my argumentative essay. we can't write about topics such as abortion and gay rights and marriages like that. my teacher said to pick local issues in our town to write about. but there are no …
  3. english

    This is for Chrestomanci readers :-) I'm writing an essay on possibilities, and I remember that in Witch Week, there is a passage where Chrestomanci describes other worlds notably the one in which the French defeated the British, and …
  4. year 8 RE - re teachers

    Please could someone help me with my re homework. i need to write an essay.this is the question:- Show how religious beliefs and practices may be connected to the needs and concerns of people living at different times and in different …
  5. literture

    look around at your local community, how easily do disabled people get around. what needs to be chnged. i need to write a persuasive essay, about this, like what needs to be changed to make it easier for disabled people to get around. …
  6. 10th grade

    I have to write an insightful handwritten reflective response via essay about a passage in a novel. The passage is about 3 sentences. It is a summer reading book. How many pargraphs do i need and help with layout of essay.
  7. english

    can you evaluate my essay ? tell me waht do you think about it, and what should i do to improve it. Satisfaction The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. This saying made me think about life, people, and their attitude
  8. English

    Are the verbs in these sentences passive voice, weak or past tense. My answers: 1. The book was informative but too long.--weak or past or both?
  9. English

    1. People all around the world love eating street food. 2. People all over the world love eating street food. 3. People all through the world love eating street food. 4. People all throughout the world love eating street food. (Are …
  10. Ninth Grade Essay Writing

    I'm looking for someone to proofread my essay and tell me what needs improvement.

More Similar Questions