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Please look at my mini-essay and tell me what needs improvement! It's a response to a passage from a book.
Thank you. :)

Millions of people all around the world are living in the past or looking to the future. “2012 is the end of the world,” “When I was younger…” “I don’t want to get older! Wrinkles, ew!” and so on. People are obsessive compulsive about it! You can hardly blame them, though. Society is based around time (scheduled TV shows, sports seasons, school and work hours, ect.), it is impossible to avoid thinking about what is going to happen a week from now, or what happened last month. However, some people take it to the extreme; they can never enjoy what is happening at the moment because they are too preoccupied with what is going to happen and what has already happened. Too many people cannot enjoy the little good things, such as eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake or receiving a hug, in life because they are too worried about wrinkles or 2012.
This is one of the wisest things I have ever read. Although it is not a big issue in the novel, it is practically a disease in real life. I think a lot of people need to read this book. And after they do that, they need to sit down and think about what Coelho has written. He does not cease to amaze me. He has managed to capture the prominent aspects in Buddhist philosophy and shape them into a simple, yet brilliant, outlook on life in 167 pages.

  • English -

    It is hard to judge the value of this without knowing what your assignment was. What you have written is your thoughts on other people. If it is intended to pass what the author thought, it failed in that it seldom mentioned what information was in the book, nor the ideas, or conclusions. Is there a reason for that?

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