Can you please proofread this for me. Its just a journal entry that we had to do. Thank you very much!!
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of growing up to become an elementary school teacher. Sure enough that dream still holds true today. I want to be able to provide children with the knowledge and encouragement that they need to grow up to be successful. I want children to feel that each of them is unique in their own way and that they have so many people that they can turn to if they feel that their goals are impossible to achieve. I feel that I'm that type of person that would make a wonderful teacher because I'm caring, patient, understanding, helpful, and willing to do anything to make the children happy. My passion for teaching and children is so strong and no other career would make me more satisfied.
This looks very good! One thing I disagree on - making children "happy" is not the focus of teaching, (my opinion) Making children curious and inventive is more a teacher's task.
However, look at this sentence.... I think that it could be made more succinct. " I want children to feel that each of them is unique in their own way and that they have so many people that they can turn to if they feel that their goals are impossible to achieve. "
I am not a big enthusiast of convoluted sentences. I would rather see good, descriptive word choice and direct statements.
I think it is fine, if that is what you want to say. However, my experience as a teacher tells me that teaching is much more pedalogical and developmental than emotion, and you seem to hang your motivation on emotional desires. The mechanics of teaching reading, for instance, are well known. What you teach kids mainly is the need for practice spaced over time. Yes, the love of reading is important, but the mechanics (for some painful, especially those dyslexia kids) can be difficult, but kids still need to be walked through the process over and over. "Caring, patient, understanding, helpful, and willing to do anything comes at a cost, you cannot ignore the cost to your own family, and have to balance that.
For your thinking on this, I have observed there are four facets to the making of a great teacher (I wont amplify, but a book could be written):
1. Love your students. You covered that
2. Love your subject: In elementary, that is reading, reading, reading, and a little smattering of arithmetic and social studies.
3. Know your students: That is socioeconomic, family, pedagogical development, cognitive and social development.
4. Know your subject: This is the mechanical structure of reading, writing, math, thinking in sets, grouping, et al. You learn only an introduction in college, you learn this from experience on what works, and what doesn't.
Good luck
Sure! Here's a proofread version of your journal entry:
"Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of growing up to become an elementary school teacher. Today, that dream still holds true. I want to be able to provide children with the knowledge and encouragement they need to grow up and be successful. I want each child to feel unique in their own way and to know that they have many people to turn to when they feel their goals are impossible to achieve. I believe I possess the qualities necessary to be a wonderful teacher - caring, patient, understanding, helpful, and willing to do anything to make the children happy. My passion for teaching and children is strong, and no other career would bring me more satisfaction."
Remember, proofreading involves checking for grammatical errors, improving clarity, and making the text more concise. While I have proofread this for you, it's always a good idea to review it yourself for any personal changes you'd like to make.