This is what i have so for and the topic sentence i have i don't think its good enough for this paragraph.
These great explores received a lot of achievements and honors in American History Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Olaudah Equaino. They all tough us the meaning of American Literature and the goals and challenges they set throughout their life. Thomas Paine was a shared soldier and public official. His challenges were to write “The Common Sense” to tell how the colonies suffered directing from the rule of the Britain Monarch. The Common Sense in my opinion advocated the declaration of independence and a special moral to the rest of the world. Paine argument found quality in the Declaration of Independence, It was also and argument that America had to break ties with Britain. The American Crisis and The Common Sense were issues about that stake in the war and appeal to people of England about makings of war on their formal colonies.Benjamin Franklin challenges throughout his life as a boy and young man was not only self-serving but also other serving. He also was beginning to find himself as a good citizen of a good man and a good friend to others. The Autobiography was his main piece of work he tied his challenges to, his reasons was a high virtue, self- control, and self-improvement of his life. Franklin disputed that he sees people at their own ends of collectivity and friends of society in my point of view. Olaudah Equaino faced problems about authority and the contrast of slavery. One of his prime challenges was him and his sister was taken by slaves. He made the effort to do everything he could to get his sister back. During his time with the slaves he was named Gustavus Vassa and feared that every white man that he saw would eat him but all they wanted was him to work for them. He was told by his captain and the people on the ship he would be killed and eaten so he expected every moment to be his last. Equaino was test to an excellent education and being a good slave every morning.
I see you haven't read or paid attention to what Ms. Sue wrote yesterday, including the corrections she told you to make.
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1245194609
Based on the information provided, it seems like you are writing a paragraph about the achievements and challenges of Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Olaudah Equiano in American literature and history. However, you are seeking advice on improving your topic sentence.
To create a stronger topic sentence for this paragraph, it's important to clearly state the main idea and purpose of the paragraph. Additionally, it should provide a preview of the specific achievements and challenges that will be discussed. Here's a revised topic sentence:
"The remarkable contributions and struggles of Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Olaudah Equiano have significantly shaped American literature and history through their prominent achievements, such as Paine's influential work 'The Common Sense,' Franklin's pursuit of self-improvement, Equiano's fight for freedom, and the transformative ideas put forth by Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence."
This revised topic sentence effectively introduces the main theme of the paragraph and provides a clear roadmap of the accomplishments and challenges that will be addressed. Remember to support each point with specific examples and further expand on each person's impact.