Is this written correctly? I wrote this for my focus statement on a report I am currently writing. Please double check. Thank you~!
In this report, I will justify why the movie Saving Private Ryan follows the Archetypal design by analzing the repeating elements which one would find in an archetype quest.
In the examples I found in my outlines, I always find that they start off the focus statement with.."in this report".. would it be absolutely necessary to include this?
Because if not.. I kinda want to write my focus statement as this..
By analzing the repeating elements which one would find in an archetype quest, I will justify why the movie Saving Private Ryan follows the Archetypal design.
I know not a big difference..but I like the second one i wrote more.
Unless your teacher has specifically instructed you to do so, you should really leave the "I" statements out. That's very third-grade!
Try this:
By analzing the repeating elements found in an archetypal quest, it is clear that the movie, Saving Private Ryan, follows the archetypal design.
Could I change that focus statement to:
By analzing the repeating elements found in an archetypal quest, it will be made apparent that the movie, Saving Private Ryan, follows the archetypal design.
btw, Thanks for your help! (:
Yes, that works just fine.
=)
Both versions of your focus statement are written correctly; however, the second version sounds more concise and direct. While the phrase "In this report" is commonly used to introduce the purpose of your report, it is not absolutely necessary and can be omitted if you prefer.
The focus statement you suggested, "By analyzing the repeating elements which one would find in an archetype quest, I will justify why the movie Saving Private Ryan follows the Archetypal design," effectively communicates your intentions. This version highlights the key content of your report and provides a clear roadmap for your readers.
Remember, the focus statement sets the tone and direction for your entire report, so it's important to choose language that best reflects your goals and style of writing.