care to edit my entertainment speech?

make it funny..please

Heroes. We all have them. At least we're SUPPOSED to all have them... So you
can imagine my disappointment when I realized that I didn't have a hero. I had
to find one. U2? There's too many of them, and they wear too much leather.
Candice Bergen? Tough, and beautiful, but she's related to Edgar Bergen, the
ventriloquist. James Brown? He's cool, but he had a song in Rocky III. And
then it struck me. My new hero.

Today, I'll sing the praises of my new hero. He's socially responsible, he
embodies the American dream, and he hasn't let success change him. He's still
the same old guy. Just like us.

My hero should be socially responsible. Not just someone who goes after what's
in his or her best interest, but someone who tries to make a difference. Tries
to make the world a better place. My hero is out there every day, trying to
make life a little easier for a group of men who suffer from a tragic illness.
He helps them to overcome their handicap, and to be accepted into society. I'm
talking, of course, about Male Pattern Baldness, and my new hero is none other
than Sy Sperling, President of Hair Club for Men.

What does the American Dream mean to you? The American Dream, to me means
moving up in society. Starting out with nothing, and attaining success with
nothing but your blood, and sweat, and a few carefully placed bribes. Like
"The Jeffersons". They started out with nothing, living next to Archie
Bunker. But they had a little laundromat, and some friends at the network,
and they got their OWN show, with a maid, and a theme song. This is the
American Dream. Sy Sperling is that dream, too. He didn't even have friends
at the network, or a de-luxe apartment in the sky. All he had was a little
business, and a dream, and enough money to put together a 30 second
commercial. He did it all himself, he put together his little commercial, and
his hard work and sincerity paid off. He was average, and yet he was on
television, and we all loved him for it.

He's Sy Sperling. He knows he's Sy Sperling. People on the street know he's
Sy Sperling. And he gets the joke. "It's a fun thing for me", he says. He's
not like those other TV hucksters, who get their cheap commercials made, but
end up looking like schmucks, he's Sy Sperling the Hair Club President, a rare
success at a difficult task. He's not Victor Kiam, pawning the Lady Remington
Rechargeable. This is no Crazy Ed, of Ed's TV and Leisurewear Emporium,
SLASHING prices to the bare walls in a mad, everything must go frenzy. This
is Sy Sperling, unearthing the Myths and Misconceptions of Minoxidol. He
talks about weaves, toupes, wigs. The suture process. In easy to understand
English. He's a celebrity, but he's just like us. He's no perfect,
glamorous greek god of a man. He's Sy Sperling. He's bald. He understands.

I've told you why Sy Sperling is my new hero. I know he's not for everyone,
but to me, in his own way, he embodies everything great about a society which
is desperate for heroes, which is why I my heart fills with joy every time I
hear those heavenly words. "I'm not just the Hair Club President; I'm also a
client."

YOUR speech? Are you Shaun Morris?

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/92q2/sysper.html

nope..hes my friendd in gaia...he gave me his speech..and tell me to edit it..and am speaking with him nao

My! And it's already published on a humor website by someone in Iowa.

yeah..its he's friend jerome..lol

Sure, here's your edited speech with a touch of humor:

Heroes. We all have them. At least we're SUPPOSED to all have them... You know, like that person who successfully microwaves a frozen pizza without burning it to a crisp! But imagine my disappointment when I realized that I didn't have a hero. I had to find one. U2? Too many of them, and they wear too much leather. Candice Bergen? Tough and beautiful, but let's be honest, she's related to Edgar Bergen, the ventriloquist. I mean, c'mon! James Brown? He's cool, but let's not forget he had a song in Rocky III. And then it struck me. My new hero.

Today, I'm here to sing the praises of my new hero. He's socially responsible, he embodies the American dream, and he hasn't let success change him. He's still the same old guy. Just like us. Well, maybe not exactly like us, but close enough.

My hero should be socially responsible. Not just someone who goes after what's in their best interest, but someone who tries to make a difference. Tries to make the world a better place, like that person at the supermarket who arranges the shopping carts in a neat line, preventing cart collisions. But let's aim higher. My hero is out there every day, trying to make life a little easier for a group of men who suffer from a tragic illness - Male Pattern Baldness. He helps them to overcome their follicular challenges and be accepted into society. I'm talking, of course, about the one and only Sy Sperling, President of Hair Club for Men.

What does the American Dream mean to you? To me, the American Dream means moving up in society. Starting out with nothing and attaining success with nothing but your blood, sweat, and a few carefully placed bribes (just kidding!). It's like "The Jeffersons." They started out with nothing, living next to Archie Bunker. But they had a little laundromat and some friends at the network, and they got their OWN show, complete with a maid and a catchy theme song. Classic. And this is where Sy Sperling fits the American Dream narrative. He didn't even have friends at the network or a luxury apartment in the sky. All he had was a little business, a dream, and enough money to put together a 30-second commercial. He did it all himself, put together his little commercial, and his hard work and sincerity paid off. He was average, and yet he was on television, and we all loved him for it.

He's Sy Sperling. He knows he's Sy Sperling. People on the street know he's Sy Sperling. And he gets the joke. "It's a fun thing for me," he says. He's not like those other TV hucksters, who get their cheap commercials made, but end up looking like schmucks. No, he's Sy Sperling, the Hair Club President, a rare success at a difficult task. He's not Victor Kiam, pawning the Lady Remington Rechargeable. This is no Crazy Ed, of Ed's TV and Leisurewear Emporium, SLASHING prices to the bare walls in a mad, everything must go frenzy. No, this is Sy Sperling, unearthing the Myths and Misconceptions of Minoxidil. He talks about weaves, toupees, wigs, the suture process. In easy-to-understand English. He's a celebrity, but he's just like us. Well, except for the whole being bald thing. But hey, he understands the struggle.

So, there you have it. I've told you why Sy Sperling is my new hero. I know he's not for everyone, but to me, in his own way, he embodies everything great about a society that is desperate for heroes. Which is why my heart fills with joy every time I hear those heavenly words. "I'm not just the Hair Club President; I'm also a client." Because deep down, we all want to believe in something, or someone. So, let's raise a glass to Sy Sperling, an icon of hope and hair restoration. Cheers!