please proofread this essay?

posted by .

I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that I am interested in applying for AP United States History. I believe that taking AP United States History will prepare me well for my college education and beyond. In addition, this course will enable me to gain a greater understanding of the past events of the country that I live in. By way of hard work, determination, and my willingness to learn, I know I will succeed in this class. I am willing to work hard to achieve the goals set for this course. Although it promises to be challenging, I accept that and believe that it will be worth it.

Taking this course will grant me a greater appreciation for school and American History. I know I will be very prepared for academic excellence through exploration of the world around me. I will keep up with all of the readings and assignments. I will continue to be responsible with my work and not fall behind, as well as manage my time and resources well.

Taking APUSH would be exciting as well as challenging, and, additionally, beneficial to my academic career. I am a highly motivated student who believes that I possess the capability to do well in this class. Although APUSH is sure to be difficult work, I have the potential to be successful and I know that it will prepare me for college and beyond.

Being a part of the APUSH class is very important to me. I think that it is a great opportunity that should not be passed up. I promise to put forth my best effort and exceed expectations. Thank you very much for considering me. I am very willing to embrace this challenge and become a part of the AP United States History class of 2009/2010.

Sincerely,
(anonymous)

** I feel like I repeat myself a lot.. which parts need to be changed? should I add anything?
thanks so much for helping me out in advance.

  • please proofread this essay? -

    I think everything is great, but I have a suggestion about the 'I will keep up with all the readings and assignments. I will countinue to be responsible with my work and not fall behind,' I think you should start the second sentence with 'I'll also______.'
    Also you should make as many contractions as possible.

  • please proofread this essay? -

    The content of your paper is very wordy. I think that's what you mean by saying you feel as if you're repeating yourself. For example ...

    "I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that I am interested in applying for AP United States History."

    This sentence will read much better if you simply delete the first 12 words. Go through the rest of your paper and do this same kind of cutting. Cut out all unnecessary words.

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. History Essay

    How does this sound so far? It is the introduction to an essay about the history of Canada. The History of Canada The broad and beautiful country of Canada stretches from the Pacific Ocean in the west to the Atlantic Ocean in the east
  2. history

    why was the Open Door Policy important to the United States?
  3. history/MS.SUE

    Ms.Sue please check this why was the Open Door Policy important to the United States?
  4. history /:

    The united states developed the open door policy toward china as a means to: A. Prevent foreign powers from monopolizing trade with china B. Stop china from taking over nearby mineral-rich siberia C. Increase the chinese immigration …
  5. History

    8. What was the Eisenhower Doctrine? A.) The United States would liberate the countries behind the iron curtain. B.) The United States would use force to help any Middle Eastern nation threatened by communism. *C.) The United States
  6. United states history

    What similarities do you see between the United States today and the United States of the past?
  7. History

    Henry Clay: What did they say about their hopes for the future of the United States?
  8. history

    n President James Monroe's annual address to Congress in 1823, he outlined his foreign policy. This policy has become known as the Monroe Doctrine. What was the main point of the Monroe Doctrine?
  9. United States History

    How is this map different from a typical map of the United States?
  10. History

    "Americans had decided how to rule their new territories. When the war with Spain began, the United States pledged to "leave the government and control of cuba to its people." In what way did the United States fail to keep the promise …

More Similar Questions