Please correct Essay
posted by Andy .
Lord of the Flies, written by William Golding, is one of the most famous novels around the world. It is a fiction story during the World War II, where groups of children crash land on a mysterious island and stay there until they are rescued. The novel contains several main characters and among them there are two distinctive characters, Ralph and Jack. From the start of the novel, they face conflict between each other and want to be better than the other. Throughout the novel, it can be seen that Ralph symbolize the civilized people in a society, and Jack represents the violence and disorder of a society.
In this tragic novel, Ralph represents a civilized side of a human race. From the start until the end, Ralph does his best to settle and prepare themselves to be rescued. Ralph and his adviser Piggy make certain rules while living in such group and also organizes where to stay, how to keep fire signal going, making a shelter and all sorts of things as a leader of the group. He is dedicated and willing to help and share with others no matter what happens. For example, Ralph voluntarily making shelter for the others and planning to be rescued by fire signal shows the readers the refined leadership of our society. Throughout the novel, Ralph is contrasted to a negative side of society, but shows the humane side of it.
Unlike Ralph, Jack, who opens to a savage and barbaric instinct, has totally different leadership. He can be considered as the completion of evil side of the human mind. He showed his nature from the start of the novel when he was not selected as a leader of the boys, but just the hunters. He wanted power over everyone else and becomes wild, barbaric and cruel as the novel develops its story. Jack finds himself in a perfect position where he gains control of other boys and act savagely against Ralph and Piggy. He shows the evil and dark side of the human nature until the end of the novel.
Lord of the Flies represents variety of themes around our human society and they are especially shown by two main characters, Ralph and Jack. They each indicate the good and the evil side of the human nature throughout the novel. Whereas Ralph is civilized and keeps justice, Jack in contrast performs dictatorship on other boys. By contrasting two main characters in the novel, it clearly delivers its message of different characteristics of human society to the readers.
"It is a fiction story..." - that's redundant. A novel is a story and it's fiction. So start the 2nd sentence like this: "The story is set in World War II ... "
Go through and rephrase to get rid of repeated words (such as "characters" in the 3rd sentence). Look for others like this.
Go through and make sure all subjects "agree with" their verbs. This pair doesn't agree: "Ralph symbolize" -- since "Ralph" is singular, what needs to happen to "symbolize" to make it singular, too? Look for other places where this may have occurred.
Take a look at the phrasing here: "performs dictatorship on other boys" -- what? "performs dictatorship"? Please rephrase.
I don't see any run-ons or fragments. That's good. The only other thing I see that is major is the vague use of "it" (such as in the last sentence). Go through the paper and isolate every pronoun (he, she, it, they, them, etc.), make sure there is a clear antecedent for each one, and that they match (agree) in number.