english (iliad)

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Pretty much i am asking you guys just to proof read this and tell me things i should add/remove and change. Any help will be appreciated.

The paper is:
Analyze Homers style, purpose, and theme in the iliad. Support your assertions with evidence and quotes from the epic poem.

according to the rubric:
paragraphs 2, 3, 4 each begin with an assertion which makes a point to prove your thesis. then provide evidence and follow with a concluding sentence.
also write in present tense.

Here is my paragraph:

Homer uses a very specific style in writing The Iliad in which he uses Homeric epithets, epic similes, and dialogue to learn about characters. Homeric epithets such as calling Zeus Earthshaker or Cloudgather, allowing the poem to flow and rhyme as it should. He uses epic similes such as, “The red blood on his fine white skin was like vermilion on ivory, when some clever craftswoman, Carian or Meonian, makes a cheekpiece for horses.” (50) An epic simile is a simile in which . He writes the story mainly in dialogue, so that you can learn about the characters through how they talk and act. Achilles is a strong warrior, but is not timorous at all. He has no morals and will stop at nothing to get his way. In book 12, when Hector tells Achilles that the loser is to be given proper burial rights, Achilles answers with, “Hector, I cannot forget. Talk not to me of bargains. Lions and men make no truce, wolves and lams have no friendship-they hate each other forever.” (260) Homer deliberately shows Achilles personality throughout the book, so that one can learn who Achilles is. This is Homer’s style of writing in The Iliad.


If anyone could just skim that and try to make it better that would be amazing!
thanks

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