this is an SAT essay starting with the prompt and i would appreciate it if people that know the rubric well would grade this on the 6 scale. thank you.
Excerpt - many among us like to blame violence and immorality in the media for a "decline in morals" in society. Yet these people seem to have lost tough with login. Any objective examination shows that our society is far less violent or exploitative than virtually any society in the past. Early humans murdered and enslaved each other with astonishing regularity, without the help of gangsta rap of Jerry Bruckheimer films.
Assingment: Do violence and immorality in the media make our society more dangerous and immoral? Write an essay in which you answer this question and discuss your point of view on the issue. Support your position logically with examples from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation.
Essay - Immortality and violence in the media seem to get worse and worse every year. New video games are made where you get points for running people over, R rated movies are increasingly popular and the number of movies rated R compared to other rating is increasing quickly. Many people believe that this has led to an increase in violence and immorality in our society. I think that while the media may contribute to gang, violence, and vandalism problems, the media is a relatively small contributor to these problems.
There is a game out called "Grand Theft Auto". The entire point of this game is to steal, kill, and become rich without having to work for it. Although I think this game is completely ridiculous, I don't think that everyone, the majority, or even .5% of the kids that play this game commit crimes because the play it. Almost everyone that has played this game knew before they played it that you could stead al are, or that if you ran someone over they would die. Therefore this game didn't introduce those ideas to them. And, in my opinion, didn't encourage them to go run someone over.
My opinion on the media encouraging violence and immorality is about the same. Watching a movie about gangsters doesn't mean that that person is going to become a gangster. Seeing someone plant a bomb doesn’t mean that that person is going to be a terrorist. And seeing people doesn't mean that that person is going to be a .
Violence and immorality in one way have been on the rise in America for centuries. In another way, at one time 1/5 of the people in the U.S. were slaves. I don't think that we can do much to get back to that level. And I can guarentee you that neither TV shows nor video games contributed to that. So yes, the media may be a small problem, but it isn't what is making our society more dangerous and immoral.
This is not an essay. You need to demonstrate that you can write a full-blown essay with introduction, two or three paragraphs (minimum) of development and support, and a conclusion.
http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/sat/prep_one/writing_approaches.html
http://blog.eprep.com/2006/11/09/how-your-sat-essay-is-scored
Please try again.
You may also want to check out this site.
http://encarta.msn.com/college_article_newsat5tips/5_ways_to_write_a_great_essay_on_the_new_sat.html
#2
Excerpt - In a culture obsessed with superficial appearances, our leaders should be those who can see beyond the surface. Judging a book by its cover is the job of the consumer, bet reading the book-pondering its contents and perhaps seeking to write new chapters-is the job of a leader.
Assignment: How important is it to look beyond superficial appearances? Write an essay in which you answer this question and discuss your point of view on the issue. Support your position logically with examples from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation
Without knowing what the book says, we know close to nothing about the book. Way too often do we let the cover of the book decide whether we will read the book or not. Which means that we are often let down by what we read because the only appealing thing about that particular book was the cover. And on the reverse side, we often miss the best books just because the cover isn't very pretty. Therefore I would say that it is definitely very important to look beyond superficial appearance.
Maybe one of the best real-life examples of this is in the workplace. One of my best friends is considered by his peers a "goth". He dyes his hair black, gauges his ears, has a nose piercing, a lip piercing, and an eyebrow piercing. But that doesn't change the fast that he is one of the hardest working, most dedicated people I know. But it does hinder him significantly while trying to find a job. I have seen him go into a store, ask for an application, and be told no. Right there, without knowing him at all, the manager rejected him for the way he looked. That person will never know this but he missed out on one of the best employees he would've ever had. And on the flip side of the, people get hired because they look nice, or suck up to someone, then become a waste of time, money, and effort to the employer.
There are many, many examples like this one, where people's choices are made on the cover of the book and end up being completely wrong. If people took the time to read into the book a little bit, or at least the back cover, I believe they would be much happier with their decisions a lot more often.
As an AI language model, I can provide you with feedback on your SAT essay. However, please note that the essay you have provided does not fully adhere to the structure and guidelines for an SAT essay. The introduction should contain a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt and provides a position on the issue. Additionally, the essay should include specific examples and evidence to support your argument.
Here is a general breakdown of your essay:
Introduction:
- The introduction could be improved by clearly stating your position on the issue and providing a preview of your main points.
Body Paragraph 1:
- This paragraph discusses the video game "Grand Theft Auto" and argues that playing it does not necessarily lead to criminal behavior.
- The ideas presented seem valid, but the essay would benefit from including specific evidence or examples to support this claim.
- Consider discussing research studies or statistics about the correlation between video game violence and real-world violence to bolster your argument.
Body Paragraph 2:
- This paragraph makes the argument that watching violent or immoral content in the media does not directly influence individuals to engage in similar behavior.
- Again, it would be beneficial to include specific examples, research, or studies to support this claim and strengthen your argument.
Body Paragraph 3:
- This paragraph mentions that violence and immorality have existed in society throughout history, even before the prevalence of mass media.
- While this point is valid, it would be stronger if you provided specific historical examples or evidence to reinforce your argument.
Conclusion:
- The conclusion provides a succinct summary of your main points but could benefit from restating your thesis in a more assertive manner to conclude the essay effectively.
I would rate this essay a 4 out of 6 on the SAT scale. While you present some valid points and offer personal opinions, the essay lacks specific evidence and examples from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or personal experience to support your position. Additionally, refining your essay's structure and adhering more closely to the SAT essay format would greatly enhance the overall score.