Writing

posted by .

Help with grammar and etc.
Is this a good introduction in a essay for the topic would you be better off if you did'nt own a television? Discuss.

My life would not be better off if I did not won a television. Television is a way to get faster news. It provides pictures along with the saying. Television is a good way to see more action than hearing alone.

  • Writing -

    Thank you for using the Jiskha Homework Help Forum. Here are few things to consider:

    1. if I did not won a television. = ncorrect grammar = if I did not own OR if I had not won

    2. "It provides pictures along with the saying." = not too clear using "saying." Can you restate this?

    3. more action than hearing alone = again, can you restate this? Perhaps adding "action rather than merely hearing something.

    Sra

  • Writing -

    Everything Sra has written is correct. I hope you'll revise with her ideas in mind. Then you need to add a thesis statement at the end of your introduction.

    Read about thesis statements here:
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

    Please repost and let us know what you come up with.

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English writing

    I am writing an essay on the topic Discuss some practical ways in which each of us can help to conserve natural resources. What is a good thesis for this topic?
  2. Writing

    I am writing an introduction for a history fair project, my thesis is approved all I need to know is hoe my form of my introduction should go. You know where to put the thesis and where to start off and how to be a,b, and c where it …
  3. socials

    this is the same question I posted yesterday, it is due tommorow, oh and yes I have got how to do the other stuff which I was totally off base. Without the English civil war, democracy would have never developed,'' no one would have …
  4. English

    I'm writing my english on theme for a certain novel. What would be a good topic sentence to start my introduction off with?
  5. English - essay

    Hi. Im writing a short story about a girl who helped the army during world war II and i wonder would you know any famous quote about life/its challenges or anything that could suit the topic that I could use to finish off?
  6. English/writing

    what is a catchy topic for my essay based on this thesis statement?
  7. English

    Write a 75-150 word essay detailing your previous writing experience. Use the following questions to help you to think about your role as a writer: •In what type of environment do you do your best writing?
  8. English

    What can you do to save the environment? 1. I'd better take the stairs instead of the elevator. 2. I'd better turn off the light when I don't use it. 3. I'd better turn off the tap water when I am not using it. 4. I'd better not use
  9. 8TH GRADE LANGUAGE ARTS. HELP PLEASE MS.SUE ASAP

    Both forest fire and why leaves change color in the fall present factual information. write an essay of your own about one of these essays. in your essay, tell whether the author provided enough information for you to understand the …
  10. English 8th grade

    Both "Forest Fire" and "Why Leaves Turn Color in the Fall" present factual information. Write an essay of your own about one of those essays. In your essay, tell whether the author provided enough information for you to understand …

More Similar Questions