how's this? help on grammar and such also needed.
"Middletownopia"
Middletownopia is a very peaceful and beautiful place to spend ones life. It is located on the southern part of the island Sandi Road. People come from all over the world to visit. The laws are very fair and just because the local people are so nice and polite that no one ever gets into trouble. If someone gets angry and causes trouble of any kind, they get two chances to resolve the matter or risk getting banned from the island. There are no cars, everyone walks to where they want to go because everything is close which in turn gets people in very good shape and in great health. If the local police catches someone not excersising for three days then they will be placed under a workout program where they have to run on a treadmil for one week straight. Every Monday there is a meeting to let everyone know what they did during the weekend, exchange cooking recipies and invite others to dinner. On Christmas, people draw straws to decide who gets to live in the towns' largest mansion for the week and they get together to celebrate the holiday
Thank you for using the Jiskha Homework Help Forum. Essentially there are two errors:
ones = one's
excersising = exercising
This sounds like an idea place except for the exercising!
Sra
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1218931371
You haven't addressed all of Ms. Sue's questions.
You should know that just because of the name, there's no guarantee that everyone who lives there is or will be "... so nice and polite that no one ever gets into trouble."
Here are some other sites on utopias:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utopia
Be sure to read through sections 1, 2, and especially 3.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=eKYrR5CkfTIC&dq=utopia&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=pUuRrcMbnw&sig=YkFibRAb_feyjX3AbxiAIrbHVP4&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result#PPR7,M1
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"Middletownopia" is a peaceful and beautiful place located on the southern part of the island Sandi Road. People from all over the world visit this picturesque destination. However, there are a few grammar and stylistic issues in your description that I can help you with.
1. Sentence structure: One way to improve sentence structure is by varying sentence lengths and types. Let's look at this sentence and break it down:
"It is located on the southern part of the island Sandi Road."
Consider rephrasing it to create a more engaging and flowing sentence:
"Middletownopia is located on the southern part of the picturesque Sandi Road island."
2. Consistency in verb tense: In your description, you switch between present tense and past tense. It's important to maintain consistency throughout the paragraph. Let's correct this inconsistency in the first sentence:
"Middletownopia is a very peaceful and beautiful place to spend one's life."
3. Punctuation: In the sentence, "If someone gets angry and causes trouble of any kind, they get two chances to resolve the matter or risk getting banned from the island," it would be clearer to add a comma after "any kind" to indicate a pause in reading.
4. Capitalization: Make sure to capitalize proper nouns such as Middletownopia, Sandi Road, and Christmas.
Revised Paragraph:
"Middletownopia is a very peaceful and beautiful place to spend one's life. It is located on the southern part of the picturesque Sandi Road island. People come from all over the world to visit. The laws are very fair and just because the local people are so nice and polite that no one ever gets into trouble. If someone gets angry and causes trouble of any kind, they get two chances to resolve the matter or risk getting banned from the island. There are no cars; everyone walks to where they want to go because everything is close, which in turn keeps people in excellent shape and great health. If the local police catch someone not exercising for three days, they will be placed under a workout program where they have to run on a treadmill for one week straight. Every Monday, there is a meeting to let everyone know what they did during the weekend, exchange cooking recipes, and invite others to dinner. On Christmas, people draw straws to decide who gets to live in the town's largest mansion for the week, and they gather to celebrate the holiday."