English-Satire

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Yesterday I was the photographer for a small court house wedding. As I was waiting for the couple to finish the necessary paperwork for a legal marriage, I couldn’t help but overhear the daughter of the bride, a 9th grade student, complaining about living at home—wishing she was old enough to move out of her parent’s house. I remember being like that. All four years of high school I couldn’t wait to break free from the invisible, binding bars of “not being 18.” I was ready to experience life without a curfew, rules, or chores. I dreamt of my own apartment, accommodating parties as frequently as possible. I was ready to be on my own. Just like me, the daughter of the bride was ready to be free.
So, with that 9th grade student, I couldn’t agree more. Life is much “free’er” on the other side of the fence post. You’re “free” to pay for rent, cable, internet, electricity, gas, and groceries. Living on your own gets expensive, and you might not have much money after bills to go with, but that’s what the money tree in your back yard is for. Prune it often, it will be necessary to pay the cost of living plus entertainment.
You’re also “free” to do your own laundry and you even get to do it when you want to--now or later. Or you can just stare at it as the hamper overflows and pray that soon both the laundry and the dishes will wash themselves. Instead of only having the privilege of doing a select few chores—you now have them all to yourself! No one likes to share, right?
Not only do you get the pleasure of paying all the bills and doing all of the household duties, but also you get to prove Mom wrong—it wasn’t necessary to learn how to cook before leaving home! You’ll learn that cooking is complete rubbish as you attempt the first month to survive off of McDonald’s and Burger King. Continue to smile as your pants become just a little too tight—enjoy all of that very healthy fast food.
So, you see, living at home is as horrible as it seems. Being out on your own is easier than tying your shoe! Having so many responsibilities is such a breeze!


Do I need to add more to it?
Any rewording to enhance the vocabulary?
Any new sentence structures I could replace previous ones with?

  • English-Satire -

    Odd phrasing:

    "paperwork for a legal marriage" -- would they do paperwork for an illegal marriage??

    "accommodating parties" -- I think you mean throwing parties.

    "you might not have much money after bills to go with" -- to go with what?

    "select few chores—you now have" -- there should be a comma after "chores" not a dash.

    Overall, I really like it!!

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