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my Topic & Thesis Statement is this...

Topic: How Do You Know If Your Nail Salon is Clean and Safe?

Thesis: The best solution as to not getting a toe or nail fungus, is to avoid unclean nail salons.

But my teacher says "how do you persuade people that nail fungus is a real problem?

So my Question is how can i rewrite my Thesis Statement so that it sounds more like it can persuade you.

Thank you.

  • English -

    Your "thesis" statement is simply stating a fact; therefore, it's not really a thesis statement. You need to add your position on the topic in order to make it a thesis.
    Read through these examples (the bad and the corrected) and then rewrite yours with your position included. We'll be happy to help you.

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