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While wearing uniforms does not necessarily guarantee academic success; not wearing uniforms deters students from concentrating on their studies, dress codes can have a positive and negative effect on students.
The statement above is my thesis statement on dress codes in elementary schools.
can you please help me refine my thesis statement on dress codes in elementary schools? Thanks

  • English -

    First of all, it's not a thesis statement until you state which position you're taking. Which side of the "fence" are you on? Once you decide that, it'll be easier to refine your thesis.

    Grammatically, you need a comma where you have a semicolon and a semicolon where you have a comma.

    Please repost, and someone here will help you further.

    =)

  • English -

    My thesis statement has to be objective (supporting both sides) as my essay has to be objective too. That's why I'm having trouble with it.
    Thanks

  • English -

    That's not what a thesis statement is supposed to do, but if those are the directions from your teacher ...

    What I'd do is keep the thesis the same (with the punctuation corrections), and then write the paper so that you support one side more than the other. Then in your conclusion, you can say that while there is support for both sides of the question, you believe ________________ is better for students overall.

    What support do you have for the pro side of this? What do you have for the con side of this?

    ??

  • English -

    You're right. Please help with reconstructing my new thesis statement. I want to make it short, but strong, supporting dress codes in schools.

    "Even though enforcing dress codes in schools infringes upon students rights, dress codes should be enforced in schools because it helps to reduce non-academic distractions and it encourages discipline among students."

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