While wearing uniforms does not necessarily guarantee academic success; not wearing uniforms deters students from concentrating on their studies, dress codes can have a positive and negative effect on students.
The statement above is my thesis statement on dress codes in elementary schools.
can you please help me refine my thesis statement on dress codes in elementary schools? Thanks
First of all, it's not a thesis statement until you state which position you're taking. Which side of the "fence" are you on? Once you decide that, it'll be easier to refine your thesis.
Grammatically, you need a comma where you have a semicolon and a semicolon where you have a comma.
Please repost, and someone here will help you further.
=)
My thesis statement has to be objective (supporting both sides) as my essay has to be objective too. That's why I'm having trouble with it.
Thanks
That's not what a thesis statement is supposed to do, but if those are the directions from your teacher ...
What I'd do is keep the thesis the same (with the punctuation corrections), and then write the paper so that you support one side more than the other. Then in your conclusion, you can say that while there is support for both sides of the question, you believe ________________ is better for students overall.
What support do you have for the pro side of this? What do you have for the con side of this?
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You're right. Please help with reconstructing my new thesis statement. I want to make it short, but strong, supporting dress codes in schools.
"Even though enforcing dress codes in schools infringes upon students rights, dress codes should be enforced in schools because it helps to reduce non-academic distractions and it encourages discipline among students."
Certainly! Your current thesis statement touches on some important points about dress codes in elementary schools. However, it could be further refined to provide a clearer focus and direction for your essay. Here's a suggestion for a refined thesis statement:
"Although the impact of dress codes on academic success in elementary schools may vary, implementing and enforcing dress codes can positively influence students' behavior, promote a sense of belonging and equality, and enhance overall learning environments."
In this refined thesis statement, I have maintained the acknowledgement that dress codes do not guarantee academic success. However, I have added a focus on the positive aspects of dress codes in elementary schools. By emphasizing how dress codes can positively shape behavior, create a sense of community and equality among students, and improve the overall learning environment, your thesis statement becomes more well-rounded and provides a clear direction for your essay. Remember to expand on these aspects in your essay to support your thesis statement effectively.