Sentence structure

posted by Bizzy

1)Voltaire presents his ideas of injustice through comedy by exaggerating the aristocrats’ life style.

In this sentence do I include an "s" after style? Also, which is correct in this sentence, "life style" or "lifestyle".

2)Voltaire’s representation of Candide’s father is a mockery of the hierarchy of the aristocracy and a reminder that an individual’s personal attributes are overlooked.

Is "hierarchy of the aristocracy" okay in this sentence? I'll appreciate your help.

  1. Writeacher

    1)Voltaire presents his ideas of injustice through comedy by exaggerating the aristocrats’ life style.

    In this sentence do I include an "s" after style? Also, which is correct in this sentence, "life style" or "lifestyle".

    It would be better to say "lifestyles" since you can't prove that all the aristocrats lived exactly the same lifestyle!!

    2)Voltaire’s representation of Candide’s father is a mockery of the hierarchy of the aristocracy and a reminder that an individual’s personal attributes are overlooked.

    Is "hierarchy of the aristocracy" okay in this sentence? I'll appreciate your help.
    The problem is repetition and boredome: "a mockery of the hierarchy of the aristocracy" -- too many words so close together with -y sound at the end. Try this: Voltaire’s representation of Candide’s father mocks the hierarchy of the aristocracy...

    There are still two -y sounding words, pretty close together. What revision can you think of to say the same thing but eliminate that repetition?

    ??

  2. Writeacher

    (boredom, not boredome!)

  3. Bizzy

    can I say aristocrats instead?

  4. GuruBlue

    Yes, that would work well.

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