We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land, for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who changed and become good people in the prison. Opponents of the capital punishment argue that capital punish can not diminish murders and in some cases people who didn't commit can be involved in the capital punishment and experience death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However many asian countries and The USA has capital punishment. In this ideal land, we want to lee peacefully. So to make a community free from criminal, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community.
We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio and television programs, and some other forms of media influence people in the community. After censorship the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to them. Then this community will be an ideal land.
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I made a composition. Would you check it, please? Do I use correct articles?
We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land<~~what "ideal land"?, for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who change and become good people in the<~~delete "the" prison. Opponents of the<~~delete "the" capital punishment argue that capital punishment can not diminish murders<~~add comma and in some cases people who didn't commit murder can be wrongly put to death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However<~~add comma many Asian countries and The<~~no capital "t" USA has<~~should be "have" since you have a plural subject ("Asian countries" and "the USA") capital punishment. In this ideal land<~~??, we want to lee<~~?? peacefully. So to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community.
We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio<~~add comma and television programs, as well as some other forms of media<~~add comma influence people in the community. After censorship<~~add comma the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to them.I don't understand the ideas in this sentence. Then this community will be an ideal land.
Comma uses:
http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/comma.html
(especially 1, 2, and 3)
Articles (a, an, the):
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Let me know if there's anything you don't understand.
=)
We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who change and become good people in prison. Opponents of capital punishment argue that capital punishment can not diminish murders, and in some cases people who didn't commit murder can be wrongly put to death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However, many Asian countries and the USA have capital punishment. In this international community, we want to live peacefully. So to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community. We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio, and television programs, as well as some other forms of media, influence people in the community. After censorship, the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to the programs. Then this community will be an ideal land.
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Thank you. According to your guidance, I corrected errors and changes some.
See you next time.
cannot = one word, not two
Suggested revisions here:
Most European countries -- as well as Canada, Australia, and New Zealand -- do not have capital punishment. However, many Asian countries and the USA do have capital punishment.
In this international community, we want to live peacefully, so to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best.
Revisions include sentence combining and the use of "do" for emphasis.
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Your composition is generally well-written, but there are a few corrections and clarifications that can be made to improve it:
1. In the first paragraph, it is more appropriate to say "for criminals should have time to repent in prison" instead of "jail."
2. Instead of "Opponents of the capital punishment argue that capital punish can not diminish murders," it should be "Opponents of capital punishment argue that it does not effectively reduce the occurrence of murders."
3. The sentence "and in some cases people who didn't commit can be involved in the capital punishment and experience death" should be rephrased as "and in some cases, innocent people can be wrongfully subjected to capital punishment, resulting in their wrongful execution."
4. Instead of "Most European countries do not have capital punishment," it can be stated as "The majority of European countries have abolished capital punishment."
5. Instead of "Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment," it is more accurate to say "Canada, Australia, and New Zealand have abolished capital punishment."
6. The sentence "However many Asian countries and The USA has capital punishment" should be rephrased as "However, many Asian countries and the USA still practice capital punishment."
7. In the sentence "In this ideal land, we want to lee peacefully," I believe you mean "live" instead of "lee."
8. The statement "So to make a community free from criminal, the government will do its best" can be improved as "Therefore, the government will strive to create a community free from crime."
9. Lastly, in the second paragraph, "After censorship the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to them" should be "After censorship, the government will allow inhabitants to watch or listen to them."
Overall, your composition conveys your stance on capital punishment and the need for censorship in a community. However, it's important to remember that different opinions exist on these topics, and it's always good to consider multiple perspectives while discussing controversial subjects.