English 12

posted by Student

We had to write a sample college essay; how will your diversity help the college campus?

Here is my first two paragraphs:
The students were unaware of me standing on the balcony, watching them with interest as they walked back from school on the narrow dirt path road. Their uniforms were simple, their shoes were neatly tied, and their faces were lit up with joy after one more day of gaining knowledge. In India, the enthusiasm to learn is common since education is one of the three most important things in their tradition, along with family and culture. As I traveled around the world, I have learnt important life lessons that I have treasured to make me a diverse and cultured person. These lessons have been incorporated into my life to make me appreciate my way of living, and to respect other peoples religions, beliefs, and ideas.

As I try to balance my life between the school work and social life of Western society, and the home life and traditions of Indian society, I find many hobbies and talents that would make me an asset to the University of Maryland community.


Suggestions?

  1. Writeacher

    You have not answered the prompt's question -- "how will your diversity [I guess that means your ethnicity] help the college campus."

    If you don't address their question, you will be out of consideration immediately. Please either start over or expand greatly on what you've started. Details and specifics are needed.

    http://www.collegeboard.com/student/apply/essay-skills/9406.html

    =)

  2. Student

    thanks, ill finish this and repost. i wanted to develop those experiences into how i would help their community. i should be done in less then 30 minutes if youre still on then

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English

    Hi, I'm trying to start on my argumentatvie essay today and at least get the rough draft done. The topic is Recent changes to Georgia's HOPE scholarship program. I have found a few sources that I can include in the essay but what I …
  2. statistics

    In the past a certain college has found that 35% of the students will grad within 4 years. A random sample of 450 students at this college is taken and going to be followed until graduation. A. What is the sampling distribution of …
  3. english

    I have to write two paragraphs, with a total minimum word count of 350 words, explaining what your point of view will be on credit card companies should not be on campus marketing to college students, and what you plan to accomplish …
  4. english

    Write three paragraphs, with a total minimum word count of 500 words, explaining what your point of view will be and what you plan to accomplish in your paper. “Credit card companies should not be on campus marketing to college students”
  5. statistics

    A sample of 400 high school students showed that they spend an average of 70 minutes a day watching television with a standard deviation of 14 minutes. Another sample of 500 college students showed that they spend an average of 55 …
  6. statistics

    To determine how many hours per week freshmen college students watch television, a random sample of 225 students was selected. It was determined that the students in the sample spent an average of 35 hours watching TV per week. The …
  7. essay

    Imagine that you are hosting a group of exchange students next term. You are responsible for welcoming the students to campus and acquainting the students with life on campus socially as well as academically. Develop a "Welcome Letter" …
  8. Interpersonal Communications

    Imagine that you are hosting a group of exchange students next term. You are responsible for welcoming the students to campus and acquainting the students with life on campus socially as well as academically. Develop a “Welcome Letter” …
  9. Calculus

    Four hundred students attended the dedication ceremony of a new building on a college campus. The president of the traditionally female college announced a new expansion program which included plans to make the college coeducational. …
  10. Statistics

    How do you find the p-value??? Thanks! In the past, 35% of the students at ABC University were in the Business College, 35% of the students were in the Liberal Arts College, and 30% of the students were in the Education College. To

More Similar Questions