Can someone read over my two paragraphs to see if I need to make any changes to make my words stronger or any grammar or punctual mistakes.
Live as if tomorrow is your last day, learn as if you live for eternity. I am David is based on a true story by Anne Holm. This story is about a young boy named David who journeys across Europe with his rising emotions and senses of the wonder of life to get to Denmark. David would not have learned about the world being primarily equal, be happy, and live normally if he stayed back at the camp. One has given David a loaf of bread each day, Maria’s family brought David into their home, David learns about the normal things that ordinary children know, David learns about music, David smiles at Maria, and has seen various vibrant colours.
One has given David a loaf of bread each day. “ The man laughed in a hearty friendly way, the way everyone laughed here . ‘ Well! Perhaps the young fellow isn’t hungry! he said. ‘ Yes, I am, ‘ David answered. ‘ Thank you very much! ‘ “(39) David, at first, thought it was a vicious trap.
David hesitated for a second. He has remembered what Johannes had told him, “ There are some good people. “ “ But they would not let him go. None of them would, neither the two little boys who were carrying his clothes between them, nor the two big ones, Carlo and the other who was called Andrea. And their father said there could be no question of it but David must go home with them.” (88) Maria’s family brought David into their home when he saved Maria from the fire. It is their way of thanking David properly for what he has done.
Can someone proof read and edit this please..
It is 2 paragraphs of the essay I wrote. I need someone to check it..
It looks great! I don't think you need any changes. Is this a writing assignment you did yourself? If it is, it's very strong!
Good job bro!!!!!!!!!!
Sure! Here are the revised versions with suggested changes and explanations:
Live each day as if it were your last, and constantly seek knowledge as if you will live forever. "I am David" by Anne Holm is a compelling true story that follows the journey of a young boy named David across Europe as he experiences a whirlwind of emotions and discovers the beauty of life, all in his quest to reach Denmark. The story highlights how David's encounter with various people and situations outside the confines of the camp allows him to learn about the inherent equality in the world, find happiness, and experience a sense of normalcy.
David's encounters with compassionate individuals shape his perspective on the world. For instance, receiving a loaf of bread daily from a generous person demonstrates the unexpected kindness that exists. David initially questioned the motive behind this gesture, fearing it may be a trap. However, through this act of charity, he gradually realizes that there are genuinely good people in the world. Another significant interaction occurs when Maria's family takes David into their home after he saves Maria from a fire. This act of gratitude and hospitality emphasizes how David's selfless actions have earned him a place of belonging and appreciation within a loving family.
Overall, "I am David" portrays David's transformative journey, as he learns important life lessons such as trust, gratitude, and the value of human connection. Through encounters with such remarkable individuals, David not only receives physical sustenance but also gains valuable insights into the ordinary aspects of life that were previously unknown to him, such as music, colors, and the ability to smile. These experiences shape David's understanding of the world and allow him to embrace a sense of normalcy and happiness that he would have never discovered had he remained at the camp.
In summary, your paragraphs contain powerful themes and ideas. It could be strengthened by incorporating specific examples and providing deeper insights into David's journey and the impact of these encounters on his growth and perception of the world. Remember to proofread for grammar and punctuation errors to ensure clear and effective communication of your thoughts.