Is this a good persuasive essay ? If not can you help me change it?
Everyday people come in contact with illegal aliens in some way or form, but they don’t know it. It is often hard to tell because illegal immigrants look just like the average person. Illegal immigration is a growing problem in the United States. Some may argue that illegal immigrants keep the economy moving slowly by filling up low-wage jobs, but it also has a negative effect on the United States: taxpayers are paying billions for state services, overcrowding in certain places, and illegal aliens fleeing to other countries after committing a crime.
One of the negative effects of illegal immigration is the amount of money taxpayers have to pay to let illegal aliens use state services. For instance, FAIR found that annually the estimated 195,000 illegal alien students and 481,000 U.S.-born children of illegal aliens place an $8.5 billion burden on taxpayers for education cost. Taxpayers also pay $1.9 billion per year to fund Medicaid and other uncompensated healthcare programs… (Breitbart). Illegal immigrants are poor, pay fewer taxes, and are likely to receive public benefits than American citizens. Because many of these immigrants are low-skilled workers who don’t have enough to pay taxes that will cover the cost of the services, American citizens are forced to pay the education costs, healthcare needs, social security, and welfare. Some of these taxpayers are hard working American citizens who don’t even qualify for welfare, yet they still have to pay for them.
Another negative effect of illegal immigration is the overcrowding in certain places. This issue is seen especially in schools. Schools are becoming overcrowded every day. Studies show that about 14 percent of schools exceed their capacity by six to 25 percent, and eight percent exceed it by more than 25 percent. According to the California State Department of Education, it is estimated that 16 new classrooms will need to be built every day, seven days a week, for the next 5 years (CAIRCO). Classrooms are becoming larger and education programs are struggling to meet the student demands. Schools have to use portable classrooms, gymnasiums, cafeterias to combat the overcrowding. Overcrowding may be less noticeable in residential areas; however it has shown some lasting and devastating effects on the nation.
The last negative effect of illegal immigration is the problems that arise when illegal immigrants flee to other countries after committing a crime. For example, the murder Michael Jones, soccer coach. He was found slashed to death with his ear cut off. Orlando Orea, an illegal immigrant, fled to his native country using his Mexican passport (Dailycaller). This causes problems for U.S. authorities because some countries don’t have extradition treaties with the USA. Some countries will even protect the criminal and won’t help capture the fugitive and put him behind bars. In some cases, US authorities must make deal with the other country before the fugitive is sent to stand trial in the US. And sometimes the authorities won’t do what the other country demands. This results in the criminal being a free man.
Despite tremendous efforts to keep immigrants out of the United States, they will continue to find ways in, legal or not. With more than ten million undocumented immigrants in the United States, the concern of illegal immigration continues to divide Americans. Illegal immigration has caused problems for America: taxpayers pay more taxes for immigrants, overcrowding, and illegal immigrants fleeing to other countries after committing a crime. These people should be deported back to their native countries. If they want to be a citizen, they must go through the process and work for it like all other immigrants.
My thesis statement is: Some may argue that illegal immigrants keep the economy moving slowly by filling up low-wage jobs, but it also has a negative effect on the United States: taxpayers are paying billions for state services, overcrowding in certain places, and illegal aliens fleeing to other countries after committing a crime.
Yes the thesis is long, but that's how my teacher did it and that's how she wants it. She even read it and said it was OK.
Your thesis statement effectively presents the argument that while some argue that illegal immigrants contribute to the economy, they also have negative effects on the United States, such as taxpayers bearing the burden of state services, overcrowding in certain places, and the issue of illegal immigrants fleeing to other countries after committing crimes. Your thesis statement is clear and includes the main points you will discuss in your essay.
However, I would suggest a slight revision to make it more concise and focused. Here's an alternative thesis statement:
"Despite the argument that illegal immigrants contribute to the economy, their presence in the United States has significant negative effects, including increased financial burdens on taxpayers, issues of overcrowding in specific areas, and challenges regarding criminality and extradition."
This revised thesis statement still captures your main points, but it presents them in a more direct and concise manner.