Is this a good introductory paragraph for a persuasive essay? If not, can you help change it or add on to it?
Everyday people come in contact with illegal aliens in some way or form but they just don't it. Often it is hard to tell because an illegal alien may look like the average person. Illegal immigration is a growing problem in the United States. Some may argue that illegal immigrants keep the economy moving slowly by filling low-wage jobs but it has also left a negative impact on the United States: taxpayers are paying for state services, overcrowding in certain places, and immigrants fleeing to other countries after committing a crime.
Should it be negative impact or negative effect?
Also in the beginning I was going to write : People walked down the busy streets of a city everyday. They casually walk to their destination as people of all ages, genders, and ethnicity pass by. Hundred rushed by them. They don't know a single thing about them and see them again, therefore, they aren't really important to them. They are regular people leading
lives. What if at least one person who they passed by was keeping a secret? Something that could damage their reputation or career or life. What if they were living in the United States illegally?
I didn't write this because I felt that
it was long and was not good at all?
I know only in third person but I'm not allowed to use first or second person.
You haven't proofread this very well. A word is missing from your first sentence.
What is your thesis statement?
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
The introductory paragraph you provided is a good start for a persuasive essay on illegal immigration. However, there are a few ways to improve it and make it more clear and concise.
1. Clarification: Instead of saying "Everyday people come in contact with illegal aliens," specify whether it is intentional or unintentional contact. For example, you could say "Everyday people unknowingly come in contact with individuals who are in the country illegally."
2. Thesis Statement: Make your position or argument clear by presenting a strong thesis statement. For example, "Illegal immigration has become a pressing issue in the United States, with detrimental consequences such as the strain on state resources, increased overcrowding, and criminal behavior." This thesis statement sets up the structure of your essay by indicating the negative impact you will analyze.
3. Better Organization: Consider rearranging your paragraph to provide a smoother flow of information. Start with a general statement about illegal immigration, then transition to the argument about negative impacts, followed by the counterargument about economic benefits. This structure will make your argument more coherent.
Regarding your question about "negative impact" or "negative effect," either phrase can work in this context. Both capture the idea that illegal immigration has had adverse consequences on the United States.
As for the alternative paragraph you provided, it does contain some powerful imagery and sets the stage for a persuasive essay. However, you are right in recognizing that it may be too long and not entirely relevant to the main topic of illegal immigration. It is important to stay focused on the subject at hand and avoid unnecessary tangents.
Lastly, it is good to note that you should write your essay in the third person, as instructed. This ensures an objective and formal tone, which is suitable for persuasive writing.