essay excerpt edit
posted by Christine on .
can someone edit this
This racially perceptive scene clearly demonstrates how social separation due to racism will always end in bitterness. On the surface, Radio Raheem is merely speaking of how life is a consistent battle between good versus evil, love versus hate, and right versus wrong. As we probe deeper into his conversation with Mookie, we come to find out that he is, in all actuality, speaking of racism, as Mookie unexpectedly states, 'I love you black," thereby insinuating that the deeper idea of the scene is centered around ethnicity and skin color. In this way, it becomes reasonable to presume that Radio Raheem's love and hate sequence exemplifies how social separation due to racism will always end in bitterness through of story of Cain and Abel. He introduces the metaphorically rich tale by stating with his left knuckle, "Hate! It was with this hand that brother Cain iced his brother (Lee 1989)." This powerful statement refers to the Old Testament reading of the story of Cain, the first human born, and his brother Abel, the first human to die. Cain's immense hatred towards his fellow brother due to their differences led to his murdering of Abel, of which God greatly dissented. He mercilessly cursed Cain with the lumbering burdens of illness, isolation, and emotional bitterness for the remainder of hi natural being, as well as eventually ending the lives of the family line sprung from him, as to make up for Abel's potential family members. Consequently, Cain's hatred towards his brother ended in imminent bitterness for himself, as instead of being relieve following his brother's murder, he found himself carrying God's burden of sour agony. Furthermore, God felt bitter hatred towards Cain himself for his equally bitter deed, as well as his parents, Adam and Eve, who ceased to acknowledge him after the first homicide of humanity. In this way, Radio Raheem parallels Cain's hatred to racial hatred, and Abel's brotherly love to choosing not to act biased towards other races, thereby proving that separation due to racial hatred will end in imminent bitterness. Therefore, the love hate sequence portrayed by Radio Raheem proves how social preparation due to racism will always end in bitterness.
#1 -- Divide all this into appropriate paragraphs! Just looking at all this in one huge paragraph, I'd give it a D at most.
Go over your paper with the following in mind. Thanks to PsyDAG for the following:
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
(You can also either read it aloud to someone else or have someone else read it aloud to you! The latter works really well!)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other people are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
And here are some really good websites that will help, too: