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Environmental Concern Speech

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Can someone give their opinion about the beginning of my speech?

"A few short days ago, my mother and I left our house to journey to the local grocery store. While my mother veered onto the highway, I quickly glanced over at the side of the road, only for my attention to captured immediately. Where there had once been the side of one of the many grassy, tree-dotted hills was now nothing. There were no trees, no grass, only a deep trench where an expansion of the road would be built.
Hello, my name is Victoria Avila, and I wish to speak about deforestation and its impact upon the earth. "

  • Environmental Concern Speech - ,

    DON'T start any speech or paper's first draft by writing the introduction! How can you introduce something you haven't written yet?

    Follow the writing process, whatever you're writing:

    Prewriting: Brainstorm, research, plan, outline, thesis statement

    Writing: Write first draft by starting with section II of your outline; write the introduction after the body of the paper is written; write the conclusion last.

    Polishing: Revise, concentrating first on the body of the paper, then the intro, then the concl (revision = making sure ideas are logical and sequential and support your thesis); proofread (spelling, grammar, usage, etc.)

    Do you have a thesis yet? Have you done your brainstorming (and maybe research) yet? Have you written an outline?

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html#org
    from http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

    http://www.angelfire.com/wi/writingprocess/

    http://www.ipl.org/div/aplus/
    Click on Step by Step for the process. Click on Info Search for help with researching.

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
    Check in the Essay & Research Paper Level.

    Let us know.

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