Writeacher, I truly need your help. I must finish this essay tonight but I am struggling. I read my thesis statement along with the first body paragraph, but it doesn't correspond whatsoever! I think I may need to rewrite the entire first paragraph. I don't know what to do.

I think you need to start from scratch.

If you're having this much trouble writing this paper, you need to chuck it and start over.

Use the idea list Ms Sue gave you yesterday. She's right.

Yes, but she gave me ideas I would only be able to use if I was writing an essay about ways people are less fearful than those of past generations.

Victoria -- I told you the reasons you listed should be used as an outline for your essay. Some of them included bullying, walking alone at night, economics, losing a job, .

Then post your original outline, and I'll see what I can suggest.

I don't how to begin my first body paragraph, though.

You're wasting a lot of time not doing what I asked you to do. I'm not going back in this website to find your outline. If you don't post it, I can't read it.

I. People are more fearful of violence as it has intensified.

A. Shootings
1. As a result of the Batman Massacre, midnight premieres no longer exists, which is ultimately an act of fear.
2. More schools are being armed with armed security guards after the Sandy Brooke Elementary Shooting in fear of it happening again.
B. Abductions
1. ?
2. ?

II. People are more fearful of bullying because not only is it more cruel, but the consequences are more severe. (I am not certain about this one.)
A. Bullying
B. ?

III. People are more fearful of the economy and the possibility of losing their jobs as, without their jobs, they would be unable to survive in the economy, which would render them homeless.
A. Loss of jobs
1. ?
2. ?
B. The economy
1. ?
2. ?

What kinds of abductions can you think of? Who does the abducting? Of whom?

What kinds of bullying can you think of? Who does the different kinds of bullying? What are some results?

... same kinds of questions for your other question marks.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your essay, but I'm here to help you! Rewriting a paragraph or even an entire essay can be a daunting task, but it's not impossible. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to tackle this situation:

1. Analyze the problem: Read your thesis statement and the first body paragraph carefully. Identify the main idea or argument in each of them. Then, compare the two and determine where the discrepancy lies. Is the first paragraph addressing a different point than your thesis statement? Are the supporting details in the paragraph unrelated to your thesis?

2. Determine the purpose of the first paragraph: Understand what role the first paragraph plays in your essay. Typically, it should introduce the main idea, provide background information, and establish a connection between the thesis and the supporting evidence.

3. Revise the thesis statement (if necessary): If you find that the first paragraph is not aligning with your thesis statement, consider revising the thesis instead of rewriting the whole paragraph. This may involve refining your argument or adjusting the focus of your essay.

4. Outline the new paragraph: Once you have a clear understanding of the problem and a revised thesis statement (if needed), create an outline for your new first paragraph. Think about how you can introduce your main idea clearly and logically connect it to the thesis statement.

5. Rewrite the paragraph: Using your outline as a guide, rewrite the first paragraph, ensuring that it aligns with your revised thesis statement and sets up the rest of the essay effectively. Focus on providing clear and concise information that supports your main idea.

6. Revise and edit: After rewriting the paragraph, review it for coherence, clarity, and proper organization. Make any necessary adjustments to ensure that it flows smoothly and supports your thesis statement effectively.

7. Review the rest of your essay: Once you've addressed the first paragraph, review the following paragraphs to ensure they align with your revised thesis statement as well. Make any necessary revisions to maintain consistency throughout the entire essay.

Remember, writing is often an iterative process, and it's natural to revise and rewrite parts of your essay to improve its overall clarity and coherence. Take your time and don't hesitate to seek feedback from others, such as a teacher or a classmate, to gain further insights and make your essay even stronger. You've got this!