Writeacher, I truly need your help. I must finish this essay tonight but I am struggling. I read my thesis statement along with the first body paragraph, but it doesn't correspond whatsoever! I think I may need to rewrite the entire first paragraph. I don't know what to do.

Could you possibly read my thesis statement and first body paragraph in my previous "Literature Essay (Writeacher)" post, and help me edit it so that they correspond with each other?

Here's your thesis statement from Writeacher's post last night.

"THIS is your thesis statement: People fear more now because there is more to be afraid of. "

Refer to the outline I suggested in your first thread on this subject. What is your first point?

My first point is that the fears of the past have become more severe in this present time.

This just restates your thesis statement. What specifically do we fear more now than we did in the past?

I disagree with your thesis. If I were to write an essay on this topic, my thesis statement would be

People have less to fear now than they have in the last 100 years.

I. Many illnesses that used to kill or cripple people have been eradicated
II. Fear of being bombed by nuclear weapons was a constant concern.
III. The U.S. drafted young men into the armed forces to fight in World War II, Korea, and Vietnam.

We fear shootings, bullying, being abducted, the loss of our jobs, walking alone at night, and the economy.

IV. African Americans faced segregated schools, discrimination, harassment, and lynching.

My assigned essay is to be about ways people today are more fearful than people in past generations, though.

O.K. There you have an outline for your essay. Now write a paragraph about each of these. You may want to combine some of these so that you have three substantial body paragraphs.

I understand that you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with your essay. It can be frustrating when your thesis statement and first body paragraph don't align. However, don't worry, there are steps you can take to address this issue. Here are some suggestions:

1. Review your thesis statement: Take a close look at your thesis statement and identify the main argument or claim you are making. Ensure that it is clear, focused, and concise. If necessary, revise your thesis statement to better reflect the main point you want to make in your essay.

2. Analyze your first body paragraph: Read through your first body paragraph carefully and compare it to your thesis statement. Look for any disconnects, inconsistencies, or gaps in your argument. Consider whether the evidence you provide in the paragraph supports your thesis statement effectively.

3. Rewrite the first paragraph: If you find that your first body paragraph doesn't correspond to your thesis statement, it may be necessary to rewrite that paragraph. Start by clearly stating your main point or topic sentence, ensuring that it directly supports your thesis statement. Then, provide relevant evidence or examples to support your main point. Remember to transition smoothly from your introduction to your first body paragraph.

4. Revise and edit: Once you've rewritten your first body paragraph, go through the entire essay and look for any other areas that may need adjusting. Make sure each paragraph connects logically to the next and reinforces your thesis statement. Check for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors as well.

5. Seek feedback: If possible, have someone else read your essay and provide feedback. They can help identify any remaining issues and suggest improvements to ensure coherence between your thesis statement and body paragraphs.

Remember, rewriting parts of your essay is a normal part of the writing process. Take it step by step, and with careful revision and editing, you will be able to create an essay that effectively supports your thesis statement. Best of luck with completing your essay!