can someone critique my essay, please? :) here's my instructions:
Prompt 1:
Considering what you have learned about Hemingway, his journalistic style, and how his experiences influence his writing, write a prediction for The Old Man and the Sea.
Who is the old man?
What kind of a man is he?
What kind of struggle is he facing?
What type of fish will he pursue?
How will Hemingway make this adventure come alive?
Writing Reminders:
*Write a multiparagraph essay including an introduction, body, and conclusion.
*Give support for your prediction using prior knowledge and information learned in the lesson.
*Be creative while thinking about the setting, the character, and the task that the old man faces.
here's my essay:
The Old Man and the Sea Predictions
The Old Man and the Sea is a novella by Ernest Hemingway. The author draws from his own life experiences catching large fish in the Gulf of Mexico in writing this story. Hemingway is known for his adventurous lifestyle and many accomplishments, and not just in writing. He's broken a world record in fishing, hunted for game in Africa, and was even an ambulance driver in World War I. Hemingway adapted all of these experiences into stories, and the Old Man and the Sea is no exception to this rule.
The titular character, the old man, is Santiago, a man who utilizes the sea for his livelihood. He probably has a connection to the sea, judging by the title. He could be respectful and admiring of the sea, or have a heated, angry conflict with it. Maybe he's not having luck fishing lately, or is stranded on an island, alone. The sea will most likely play a large role in this story, whether it's something Santiago enjoys, or something that is more than merely a job.
Santiago is an older man, so he is most likely knowledgeable in his work field and about many other things through experience, study, or both. He could be frail because of his age or an injury, and frustrated with the limitations of his body. He could also be strong for his age and very spry. He could also be retired and bored with the tepidness of a life devoid of the excitement of making great catches in the middle of the wide open sea, so he decides to come out of retirement, or maybe try for one last, great capture.
I think the struggle he'd be facing would be catching the great fish, as well as an internal struggle against his age and his slowing body. He could also struggle against the elements. A storm could blow into the mainland, or even on the sea, making it difficult to weather. Santiago could also be injured while trying to catch the fish, or hit some rough waters and be blown off course in his pursuit and end up in a place he's never been before, far away from home or help.
The old man will probably pursue a large type of fish. He could try to catch a shark, a marlin, a tuna, or even a mythical fish or famed sea serpent that roams the ocean waters near where he makes his home. Something like a large fish would be very hard to land into your boat and then bring home without causing any harm to it, and I predict that Santiago will have trouble keeping the fish intact and fresh.
I think that Hemingway will bring this story to life by imbuing it with his own experience, making it really realistic and true to life and using his knowledge of fishing and traveling over the sea to aid him in describing the events of this story. I think he'll also add real-life dynamics and real feelings and thoughts to characterize Santiago and make us more familiar with him and the way he thinks about the world and the sea.
i see an error already, i forgot a conclusion! i'll write one now and post it when i'm finished.
Hemingway's fashion of writing evolved from being simply a way to report news to a way to share his stories with the world. From his memories of the places he's been and the things he's seen, he draws realism and shapes it into fictional and factual stories that, when you read them, detail just a little bit of the life of a man who lived not so long ago and was present for many spectacular things. The Old Man and the Sea is only one of Ernest Hemingway's realistic tales of sport and struggle and I'm sure if he was alive today we'd have many more to enjoy.
Your essay provides a good understanding of the prompt and offers some insightful predictions for The Old Man and the Sea. Here are some critiques and suggestions to help improve your essay:
1. Introduction: Start with a brief overview of Hemingway's journalistic style and the influence of his experiences on his writing. Mention some key points that highlight Hemingway's connection to fishing and the Gulf of Mexico. This will provide a more comprehensive introduction to the topic before explicitly stating your predictions.
2. Thesis statement: Include a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines your main predictions for the story. This will help guide your essay and provide a roadmap for your readers.
3. Body paragraphs: Consider organizing your body paragraphs in a more logical and coherent manner. Each paragraph should focus on one specific prediction and provide supporting evidence or reasoning. For example, you could have separate paragraphs discussing the old man's character, the struggle he faces, the type of fish he pursues, and how Hemingway brings the adventure to life.
4. Evidence and support: Ensure that each prediction is supported with evidence or prior knowledge. Instead of making assumptions, refer to specific details from the prompt, the lesson, or Hemingway's works to back up your predictions. This will add credibility to your analysis.
5. Be more specific: Instead of using phrases like "he could" or "he might," try to provide more concrete details to support your predictions. Consider discussing potential reasons behind Santiago's connection or conflict with the sea, his background and physical condition, and specific challenges he might encounter.
6. Conclusion: Summarize your predictions and tie them back to Hemingway's style and experiences. Emphasize the overall impact of these elements on the story and how readers will be able to connect with Santiago's character and his struggle.
7. Grammar and formatting: Proofread your essay for grammar mistakes, punctuation errors, and formatting inconsistencies. Ensure that your paragraphs are indented, your sentences are properly punctuated, and your grammar is correct.
Remember, critique is subjective, and different readers may have different perspectives. These suggestions are intended to help you enhance your essay and make your predictions more compelling.