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Business Communications - English 101

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Is first paragraph punctuation correct? (no missing commas, etc)
2nd paragraph - would it be a period or a semicolon? Thanks!!!

It will be our pleasure to welcome you and your staff to Tampa, Florida, on January 8. All of the tour arrangements you have approved for your sales conference at Endias have been confirmed. The price will include hotel accommodations at a rate of ninety dollars ($90) per night for single occupancy. In addition to the customized tour you have planned, we thought you would like to know some of the other events taking place in Tampa during your stay. This includes the following: January 8 – Florida Orchestra Series at Tampa’s Performing Arts Center, January 9 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Green Bay Packers at Raymond James Stadium, January 8–11 —Tampa Boat Show at the Tampa Convention Center.

If you would like us to secure tickets for your group, please let us know immediately we cannot guarantee the availability of tickets the sooner we hear from you, the better.

  • Business Communications - English 101 -

    I'd change the last two commas in the first paragraph to semicolons. The rest of that paragraph is fine.

    There need to be two sentences in the second paragraph. Where will you make the break?

  • Business Communications - English 101 -

    Thank you as I wasn't sure if the first paragraph should be commas or semicolons. For the second paragraph, would you put end it after immediately and put a semicolon between tickets and the?

  • Business Communications - English 101 -

    Oh, sorry ... there should be THREE sentences in the second paragraph.

    Periods and capitals ... no semicolons.

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